Legend - Signing in Week 2

I love the Bills in Miamah!!! I was impressed with the Bills on Sunday. The only thing that kept the Pats out of the loss column was their run attack of Dillon and Maroney. I’m not as confident in the Miami run game after last Thursday night. Gosh, Ronnie Brown looked like he was in a stunned Quantum leap stooper. Am I the only one who finds Duante in Miami a bit ironic? If he had lustful distractions in Minnesota, imagine him on south beach. He’s turning into my new Jeremy Shockey. Bills by 6!!!
I love the Panthers in the Dome!!! This is tough pick. The mere fact that I am weighing the injuries to Dan Morgan and Steve Smith tell me that the Vikes have no business winning this game. Oh, and Rubes, I love E.J. Henderson again – anybody with me? I thought he played a hell of a game. Pants by 10!!!!
I love Cinci in the battle of Ohio!!! “Four dead in Ohio, four dead in Ohio.” Those deaths of course will be the starting Cleveland secondary after Carson picks them apart. You know what’s great about this game, you can make fun of both teams for having equally crappy cities. Imagine being a Browns fan. You lose by 17 points on Sunday, but at least you don’t have to go to Cincinatti after the game! Bungels by 17!!!
I love the Bears in Soldier!!! I’m certainly not picking the upset in this one. The Bears d gets pretty hyped when at home, and the last I checked the Lions had horrible jerseys. Bears by 9!!!
I love the Colts @ home, but more so I love Mark Schlereth!!! I think I’m related to Schlereth. I heard him this week pick the Jags in the south saying that he doesn’t like the way the Colts gameplan nor their style of football. He claimed that their built to compete but not win. He’s 1 for 1. He also picked the Pats to represent the AFC in the Superbowl. 2 for 2. His favorite defender in the NFL is San Deigo’s Shawne Merriman. 3 for 3. He sleeper in the NFC? The Vikes. 4 for 4. I love you Stink. I think you’ll agree that even though we dislike Colts, the Texans won’t be winning on the road this week. Colts by 11!!!
I love the Pack over the Saints!!!! I assume that I will not be picking the Packers again this year, but I remember the Saints losing 56 to 0 in Lambeau last year. Drew Brees will put up some points, but the Pack will win by 14!!!!
I love the G-men to pick up a huge road win!!! If the NFL were actually Middle School, Tom Coughlin would be the shop teacher who also runs detention and yells at kids for having their shirts untucked. Andy Reid is the laid-back Assistant Principal who has a 12 string guitar in his office and dresses up with the kids for spirit week. I actually had an associate principle like this. I got sent to his office and asked him to play a song on his guitar. He promptly forget to punish me and let me go. If I were on the Giants roster (who knows why I’m not) I would fear being 0-2 and having to be in the same room at Tom Coughlin. G-men by 4!!!
I Love the Ravens over the Raydahs!!! Look for Robert Gallery and the rest of that shoody O-line to spontaneously combust at some point in this game. McGyver could even turn that heap-of-crap unit into something usefull. Ravens by 17!!!!
I love the Bucs to rebound over the Falcors!!! Can’t see the Bucs falling off the pace so quickly. If the Falcors win, I will need to reassess. For now, Bucs by 6!!!
I love the S-hawks over the Cards!!! I actually think the Cardinals might be as good as the S-hawks, but nobody seems to go into Seattle and win. I suggest the following reasons why: 1) think about how hard it is to wake up on rainy days. You want to stay in your George Costanza sweatpants, watch Divorce Court, and eat bageldogs. No wonder teams look lethargic in Seattle; 2) The FDA came out with a release that said because of heightened mercury levels, no one should comsume more than 6 ounces of salmon in a week. I’m sorry but if I’m eating salmon, 12 ounces isn’t even putting a dent in my stomach. and 3) Seattle actually loses all it’s home games, but because they are never on TV and get no media press way up there, nobody every questions the faulty scores. I went to high school with Larry Fitzgerald too Peter. Hawks by 9!!!!
I love the 9ers at home!!!! Yeah, they straight up impressed me last week. The Rams will be better but this seems like a road loss waiting to happen. 9ers by 7!!!!
I love the Chiefs in my upset special!!! All of you know how skeptical I am about Jake Plummer. To bring back a recent discussion, he is getting dangerously close to Mike Vanderjagt and Robert Horry territory for me. This is a great rivalry, and I like the Chiefs to prove how good the Bengals are and how poor the Bacos are. Chefs by 13!!!!
I Love the Pats in NY!!! Listen, the game should’ve never happened like that OK. I understand the nay-sayers concerning my Pats. But if you remember, the Bills beat the Pats 28-0 in week 1 two years ago. The Pats rebounded by beating the Jets soundly the next week and went on to win the Superbowls. The Pats are fine. They’ve got Saturday in hand. Pats by 10!!!!
You know I love the Bolts over the Teetans!!! I gotta tell you, I can’t say enough about Shawne Merriman. He’s just a beast. He’s got the ability to be everywhere as well. Like Urlacher, Ray Lewis, Derrick Brooks. He seems to be in on every play. I can’t think of an OLB who I would take instead of him if I was starting a team. Bolts by 17!!!
I love the Boys in Big D!!! I’ve never seen Tony Romo’s photo, but I can’t help but envision him looking like Rambo. Which reminds me of the time when the youth pastor of Berean Baptist church, my boss Chris, was preaching in the Sunday service to hundreds of people and a mildly retarded highschool boy named Danny yelled out “I am Rambo”. I had to leave the sanctuary and get a stiff drink after that one. Boys by 13!!!
I love the Jags in the “upset”!!! When will Vegas give Del Rio his due? He has one philosophy – run the ball so that you have a chance to win at the end. They are always in games right? And I straight up like B-ron. He’s this generations version of Kenny Stabler or Doug Flutie. You just want the guy to succeed for some reason. Jags by 3!!!