Oh, The Humanity!!!!

I think I just went 4 and 8 and lost to Hawkwaarhkjgshglkrgs!!! I now officially hate the Eagles, the Falcons, the Panthers, the Cowboys, the Ravens, the Packers, the Cardinals, and especially the Falcons. I also really hate Atlanta. Life sucks right now....

I'm back

Sorry about the bye week last week. If the Bears were on bye, I figured I should take one as well. Here's my picks:

KC over Sea
Chi over SF
NO over Balt
Tenn over Hou
GB over Ariz
NYG over TB
Cin over Atl
Phi over Jax
SD over StL
Pit over Oak
Ind over Den
NYJ over Clev
Car over Dal
NE over Minn

I'm back

Sorry about the bye week last week. I just figured if the Bears were on bye, I might as well be too. Here's the picks for this week:

KC over Sea
Chi over SF
NO over Balt
Tenn over Hou
GB over Ariz
NYG over TB
Cin over Atl
Phi over Jax
SD over StL
Pit over Oak
Ind over Den
NYJ over Clev
Car over Dal
NE over Minn

Photoshop Rant this week. I tried to have Heman be the vikes and GreySkull be the Bears, cause everyone knows in the end, these two teams will have a pivotal match up. Of course the Vikes will win, utilizing an onside kick in the fourth quarter. Also it’s too bad the Bears logo sucks, because greyskull would have looked tight with a raging bear head. Also notice that every logo has been used, except for Green Bay, of course. When I tried to import it into Photoshop, an error message came up letting me know that Brett Favre could have been a star if it weren’t for Green Bay. Also many of the logos just had letters, lame, so I put them where the letters are at the top, in no order, so don’t try and read into it.

I love Zona

I love bungles

I love Ravens

I love Houston

I love Eagles

I love Kc

I love Bears

I love Giants

I love Chargers

I love Broncos

I love Brownas

I love Steelres

I love Panthers

I love Vikes

Photoshop Rant this week. I tried to have Heman be the vikes and GreySkull be the Bears, cause everyone knows in the end, these two teams will have a pivotal match up. Of course the Vikes will win, utilizing an onside kick in the fourth quarter. Also it’s too bad the Bears logo sucks, because greyskull would have looked tight with a raging bear head. Also notice that every logo has been used, except for Green Bay, of course. When I tried to import it into Photoshop, an error message came up letting me know that Brett Favre could have been a star if it weren’t for Green Bay. Also many of the logos just had letters, lame, so I put them where the letters are at the top, in no order, so don’t try and read into it.

I love Zona

I love bungles

I love Ravens

I love Houston

I love Eagles

I love Kc

I love Bears

I love Giants

I love Chargers

I love Broncos

I love Brownas

I love Steelres

I love Panthers

I love Vikes

Just for fun, Hometown Buffet

First of all, gents, thanks for the rant point, but we've got to step it up. Upon re-reading, I really fell it's pathetic for such lame collections of words to have been deemed tops last week. We need to start bringing our "A" game and giving 110 percent. What's happened to our standards? One day we will wake up and realize that we are no better than the Buff. I for one, pledge to strive for excellence in WDYL-dom from this day forward. Remember, there's no I in TEAM, but there is an I in EQUIPE, which is French for team.

Okay, here we go, rebounding from 4-37 last week with the help of analogies.

I LOVE the Factory Workers over the Disaster in the Desert- The Cards are similar to the movie The Island of Doctor Moreau starring a really disgusting-looking Marlon Brando. Basically in that they're both really horrifyingly bad.

I LOVE Cincinattica over the Fal-sucks - No team has had more promise for me but caused more problems for me in WDYL than the Fal-sucks. I'd say this is analogous to the role of Culver's in my life. Sounds good, usually leads to a rather vomitous feeling.

I LOVE the Aints over the Avens - NO's success is much like the David Hasselhoff video of his "Hooked on a Feeling" cover. In your wildest dreams you couldn't have wished for anything more appropriate.

I LOVE the Titties over the Cow-skulls - Kyle Vanden Bosch is much like me. We're both, that's right folks, devilishly handsome. And from Iowa.

I LOVE the Iggles over the Jumping Jax - I appreciate Lars' focus on the Iggles losing games they should have one while overlooking the fact that the Jax LOST TO THE FREAKING TEXANS LAST WEEK. This is similar to Nate labeling Red Auerbach's death sudden and tragic. Ageless though he was, he was 89 years old. What's tragic or SUDDEN about an 89 year-old dying. Oh, you S-bergs.

I LOVE the Chefs over the Fighting MCLs - I'd like to watch this game just to see my favorite ex-ISU QB Seneca Wallace finally play QB, particularly against Brodie Croyle. I would compare this game to the role of Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies after Richard Harris died. With him, it's magical. Without, you can't get over the feeling that Richard Harris shouldn't have drunk so much and shouldn't have made the Jaws ripoff Orca.

I LOVE the Bears over 9ers - The Bears D and Mike Brown's latest injury reminds me of Mike Tyson raping Miss Black USA contest Desiree Washington in an Indy hotel. Before, we're talking about greatness, immortality. After, we're wondering what could have been.

I LOVE the G-men over the Tampons - This one could go a number of ways. It's similar to last week's Stromberg Bowl. It's similar to week 1's Manning Bowl. But I'm thinking that Ronde Barber is very similar to Tiki Barber in that they really, really look alike. It's kind of creepy how much they look like the same person. Has anyone else noticed this?

I LOVE the Rams over the Bolts - This pick reminds me of doing a rant with nothing but analogies. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it will probably come back to bite me in the end, the ass end.

I LOVE the Colts over the Bacos - Lars complains about the Colts being predictable, and he's right if he means that Peyton Manning will stand in the pocket, run the most efficient passing game in the league, and pick apart your defense for 250+ yards. "Our offense is running great, but we should throw in some trick plays just to make sure people don't get bored with how successful we are. How about a quarterback draw?" I do think that Jake Plummer is analogous to the Black Egg in that they both should resurrect their wonderfully wonderful mustaches.

I LOVE the Unemployed Carthons over the J-E-T-S - This rant reminds me of anything that took two hours to do, then you have to do it all over again because your computer screws up, and the whole thing just might have been a questionable decision.

I LOVE the Pitts over the Oaks - Ben Rothlisberger evokes memories of Ghost Dad when Bill Cosby got hit by a bus and become a ghost that could only be seen with the lights off, except I don't understand that because light is necessary to see, so how could you see him when the lights were off unless he was his own light source, which I don't think he was. Anyway, I think that will probably happen is Big Ben on his way to the bus after the game.

I LOVE the Pants over the Cowboys - ESPN loves talking about Bill Parcells and loves loves talking about T.O. The way I feel about the two of them and ESPN's constant Cowboys coverage is similar to the way I feel about stinky farts, leftovers you're really looking forward to only to realize it has green fuzz growing on it, and American Idol.

I LOVE the Pats over the Vikes - My faith in the Vikes is analogous to my faith in Buff showing up and giving me a run for my money this week.

I'm exhausted. It takes a lot of effort to be this witty and creative. I need to go replenish my electrolytes and eat a protein bar.

May all no-shows have bad gas this week.

Lem

Pcisk

How some of you continue to make long posts week in and week out I may never understand. In the dog days of the season I find myself just too busy to muster up the comedic strength to earn that rant point. Last week I won without it, and since I'm trying everything to get back in this race (though it may be too late) I'm going without it this week as well.

Bears
Bengals
Packers
Titans
Chiefs
Ravens
Giants
Eagles
Chargers
Browns
Broncos
Steelers
Panthers
Pats

Pcisk

How some of you continue to make long posts week in and week out I may never understand. In the dog days of the season I find myself just too busy to muster up the comedic strength to earn that rant point. Last week I won without it, and since I'm trying everything to get back in this race (though it may be too late) I'm going without it this week as well.

Bears
Bengals
Packers
Titans
Chiefs
Ravens
Giants
Eagles
Chargers
Browns
Broncos
Steelers
Panthers
Pats

Dell Comin Atcha- week 8

Sorry for the last minute posting- After all of my hilarious antics I am utterly spent, and also I deserve a week to submit picks in less than 2 and a half hours without all of the creative writing. My neck hurts.

Also, I am shocked by the sudden and tragic death of Boston's first citizen, the great Red Aurbach. I guess most people (including me) thought he would never die, even though he was 89 and smoked 8 cubans a day, and pretty much has been the iconic figure of hoops since guys with curly handlebar mustaches where lobbing medicine balls into peachbaskets. I'm sure he's enjoying one hell of a corned beef on rye down below with the prince of darkness himself right about now. RIP Red, you will be missed.

unfunny picks abound:

I Love Arizoona over the Pack
I Love the Bagels over the Falcors
I Love the Aints over the Raveens
I Love the Teets over the Cowskulls (do I really have to pick this game?)
I Love the Uglies over the Jagu-wass
I Love the Sawks over KC and 4th-string QB Spurgeon Wynn
I Love da Bers over the Crusty Gold Prospectors
I Love the Gents over the Tampons
I Love the Bolts over the Ewes
I Love the Bacos over the Cults
I love the J.E.T.S. over the Skidmarks
I love the Gay Taconite Ore Processors over the Ry-duhs
I Love the Pants over the Brokebacks

and

I gotta go with the Purp and the #1 run D over the Pats

Here's to hoping this week won't be the Buzzkill that last week was.

peace out

Legend 8 -signing in

I love the Bears in Chi-town!!! You guys should hear talk radio here in Chi today!! Hilarious!!! They are absolutely blasting Cedric Benson for being a baby. Ditka called him a nancy!!! Now that’s entertainment. Bears ought to coast here, but Alex Smith has to be up for most improved player so far. Bears by 14!!!

I love the Bengals over the Falsucks!!! I hate the Falcons in WDYLdom. They will definently win this game just because I picked against them. I just know it. Either way, Bengals are still hard to figure out or feel too good about. Stripes by 7!!!

I love the Chiefs in Arrowhead!! This brings back memories of when the Hawks and Cheifs were AFC divisional foes. I miss Elvis Grbac and Ricky Waters. Seneca Wallace is not a bad QB, but I guess after last week, Arrowhead does count for something. Ugly fans by 10!!!

I love the Texans in Titville!!! What’s more likely, Texans take 2 of 3 or Tits win two in a row? If you're my friends, you won't let me go to Vegas this week. Skulls by 9!!!

I love the Pack at home!!! Can’t believe how many times I’ve picked the Packers this year (I think 4 or 5 times!!) but they looked pretty good in south florida and the Cards are really unpickable right now. Green Machine by 7!!!

I love the Gmen over the Tampons!!! The Tampons have given me two wins that nobody else got the last two weeks, but the Gmen looked good on Monday, and I think they’ll keep the roll going. Gs by 3s!!!

I love the Jags in Philly!!! Yup, I’m picking the Jags who were dogs in Houston last week to get it done in Philly b/c I think they are good team. Good teams bounce back from bad losses, and that’s what you’re going to see this week. Notice also that Philly losses games they should win. That’s what losers do. Jags by a last second field goal!!!

I love the Saints in the Sdome!!! Remember when we thought the Ravens were good and the Saints were bad. We were stupid. Saints by 6!!!

I love the Bolts over the Ewes!!! I like the Bolts to keep pace with the B’cos (who you all know that I don’t like really at all) and win this week. I expect the Rams to get dizzy from looking at their own helmets and XFL jerseys. Chargers by 17!!!

I love the Steelers in Oaktown!!! Until Art Shell starts supporting his breasts, I have to pick against him. Man, does anyone else think that Big Ben is almost as cursed as the Raiders are? Steelers by 13!!!

I love the Colts over the Bacos!!! Tough game to pick but history leans towards the Colts. Lemke probably loves this game because both teams are predictable and uninspiring. That’s how he rolls. Colts by 6!!!

I love the Browns at home to snap the streak!!! Somebody sell me on the Jets, c’mon I’m waiting. I mean, how easy do the Pats have division? Are you kidding me? Browns by 3!!!

I love the Pants over the Boys!!! The Pants are destined for the P-offs which means they will win when they have to win. This is the kind of game that helps them keep pace and makes Ed Werders head explode. Pants by 7!!!

Oh boy, I hate even picking this game, but I love the Pats in Minny!!! My rooting interests are with the Purple for this game, but I think the Pats should come in a run effectively enough to win. The Pats are used to Monday nights, and the Vikes aren’t. I hope I’m wrong, but I think the Vikes will fall short at the end. Pats by 6!!!

most unfunny pics ever....

The idea of Jesus as a puppet seems a bit awkward to me, especially if the one in control happenes to be this lady. Actually it's Nate Larson's girlfriend.

my sister go married this weeknd so i'm out of town, here i my no rant pics. Lars, Poppy got married to Luke Pepper. Her new name, Poppy Pepper. They are oing to Las Vegas for their honey moon, perfect. The wedding was awesome.
Nates, those D-Nuts wrecked havoc on my maxent. My gut hasn't gurgled that much since I drank all those Papa Johns Garlic butter shots.

i love the bengalitas
i love the jettless
i love the dolph-lundgren-fins
i love jack-attack-sons
i love pattriahs
i love eggles
i love steelies
i love charggles
i love bronkitas
i love cardicles
i love mint-uh-so-tuh fikings
i love colltie
i love the chai-ants

Feel the Brotherly Love

Man, do I love it when brothers go head to head. Personally, I am taking on my bro in fantasy football this week, but being Lemkes, we are naturally much more civilized and refined. Lars, while I love you and your willingness to roast your bro, Dell totally kicked your ass. (No rant point for me.)

On an unrelated topic, I nominate Lars for a posthumous rant point. You were outstanding last week.

I LOVE the Pants over Cincinattica - I don't remember the last time a team lost its buzz so quickly as the Bungles. Similar to the movie Road to Perdition. Everybody was screaming Oscar until the movie came out, then we realized it was actually kind of boring.

I LOVE the Jets over the Motor City Kitties - Jon Kitna is the nice guy that you know is always doomed to fail.

I LOVE the Fins over the Fighting Favres - If Daunte was playing, I would toatlly pick this one the other way. He's really a difference maker.

I LOVE the Jags over the Houstons - They somehow manage to overcome the handicap of having teal uniforms.

I LOVE the Pats over the Buff - Speaking of the Buff, I'll say I was impressed he managed to make it to Week 7. Let's be realistic. We need to have a different standard for people like him, and that's okay. We can't all be normal.

I LOVE the Iggles over the Retirees from New Jersey - I've heard that Gradkowski is Polish-Italian, but he looks Uzbeki-Iranian to me. Regardless, if the NFL had an All-Eyebrows team along with their All-Pro and All-Rookie team, he would be the QB and captain.

I LOVE the Steelers over the Fal-sucks - In the history of WDYL, no team has been so hard to pick as the Fal-sucks. One week they're awesome, the next they look like Bethel's JV. One week Vick looks like the next Randall Cunningham, the next he looks like the next Jarious Jackson. I hereby dub them the Fal-sucks from now to forevermore.

I LOVE the Bolts over the Sitting Bulls - Does anyone know what the Chargers mascot is? If you do, please let me know. Is it a Charging Bulls? A cumulonimbus cloud? Perhaps a 1973 Dodge Charger? Perhaps Lars' stiffy?

I LOVE Bcos over the Muds - It's funny because it's true.

I LOVE the Cards over the Al Davises - The greatest thing about Denny Green's meltdown was the suddenness of it. One moment he's talking like a normal overweight black man, something about "the Bears are what we thought they were," whatever the hell that means, the next he's pounding on the podium, almost knocking over the mic, looking a little sheepish that he looked so uncoordinated in almost knocking over the mic but not apologizing for his wrath, then he's screaming "THE BEARS ARE WHAT THEY THOUGHT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE TO BE." Then he's gone like a piece of burning tissue paper and we're left to wonder if it was real or a collective wet dream.

I LOVE the Shawks over the Fighting Loveboats - Lars, Berg, Wilpet, Kyky: Remember our Bethel Choir trip to Seattle when we took the ferry ride across some big water thing? Remember how picturesque it was, churning through the water towards the illuminated skyline of the city. Fred Smoot's in town: imagine the possibilities.

I LOVE the Colts over Skins - I also LOVE the Colts trading deadline move to acquire Anthony McFarland. Granted, a second-round pick is a hefty price, but when you're given the chance to obtain a player whose nickname, nay, even the name he is called by TV announcers, is BOOGER, you have to jump on that. There's a lot of intangibles involved in this deal, and I really think that's the sort of thing that can put the Colts over the top.

I LOVE the Boys over the G's - Hey Lars, I saw that Sebastian Telfair had somebody shot for stealing a gold chain. You're right, I can totally see Danny Ainge doing that too.

Nat Treas

New England
San Diego
Falcors
Bengals
Dolphins
Jets
Eagles
Jags
Broncos
Colts
Cards
Hawks
Boys

Dell Kicks A- week 7

Not since Manning verses Manning a few weeks ago have we seen such a fantastic showdown between 2 brothers. Does this competition test the bonds of our kinship and place us in a situation where we might just tear our lives apart to settle the age old question once and for all, who is the better brother? In a simple word, yes. Like Jacob, Lars has tried many times to steal his older brothers birthrite. Fortunatly for me, our father isn’t fond of goat stew and I am not that hairy. I proceed with football. Lars, eat my poop.

I Love the Pants over the Bagles!
This game represents Lars’ football mindset. He has always had a knack for underdogs and teams no one else actually likes. Thus, his undaunted love for the 92’ sonics, the 93’ suns, the Boston Bruins, pretty much the NHL in general, and until recent years when they actually got good, the chargers and the bangles. Brother, no more guts for picking an underdog? You make me sick…. I have no brother. Go Pants!

I Love the J.E.T.S. over the Motorcitykittys!
You gotta hand it to the Jets for maintaining the vintage uniforms. They aren’t afraid to look somewhat corny because they have fashion confidence. I remember one Christmas not to long ago when all Lars wanted was a pair of plaid wool pants. I must admit, I don’t understand…. Does anyone like the soothing itch of swassy wool against your upper thighs?

I Love the Pack over the Chuk-Lite Tuna in water!
What a joy it is to see Daunte sucking butt so consistently. One reason is because he has baby hands and can’t hold onto the ball- Lars also has the baby hands, easily 1 knuckle shorter than mine on each finger. You know what they say about guys with small hands….. Go Pack Go!

I Love the Jag-ooo-waahs over the Cowskulls!
When he was 8, Lars nearly cracked my skull when he pegged me between the eyes with one of those old school solid metal matchbox car fire trucks… One of the few times he ever inflicted serious harm on me without provocation or retribution.

I Love the Pats over Barfello!
I remember when Lars and I where kids on cross country family roadtrips. Lars always got carsick, so mom kept a roll of ziplock bags in the glove compartment. He used to throw up so often she got used to sealing his vomit in the bag and throwing it away at the next rest stop. One time in Michigan somewhere Lars was green but too embarrassed to ask for the bag, and finally he dove towards an open crack in the window and let her fly, caking the truck with bits of chicken nuggets, spegettios and oscar meyer meat products.

I Love the Uglies over the Tampons!
Lars and I went to the Vikings game against the Buccaneers a decade ago and witnessed firsthand Trent Dilfer getting ejected for fighting. I remember most people laughing and Lars spending over 25$ on a hotdog, nachos, a pop, a cotton candy, ice cream and another hotdog. He spent most the game walking back and forth from his seat.

I Love the Gay Taconite Processors over the Falcors!
Like the workers from America’s steel mills, Lars and I have also had our share of experience with the minerals of the earth. Every summer our rough housing in the lake on hot august afternoons eventually turned to spraying each other with sand. Lars would try to escape down the shore and I would cut him down like a world war 1 machine gunner…. Yet another image that will forever be etched in my mind. He would nail me in the face and the eyes, cry for mom, and snicker while I got yelled at for peppering him with sand.

I Love the Bolts over the Chefs!
Speaking of chef, Lars loves to cook and to eat. I remember when he was a svelt kid with a buzzed red haircut and aspirations of playing basketball in the NBA. He had a piece of lined notebook paper with the word “Varsity” written on it taped above his bed on the ceiling. Every night he would focus on his ultimate goal in life while drifting into sleep. He could have been a basketball star…. That is, until he participated in a weight gaining contest with his pal Ryan. He gained 30 pounds in 2 months by eating “lots and lots of Meat before bed”. Things have never been the same.

I Love the Bacos over the Poopstains!
I have a very vivid memory of Lars crapping his pants when he was 4 or 5. At the time he was in his PJs standing awkwardly in the living room on the brand new carpet and Dad just grabbed him, tossed him on his shoulder and ran upstairs, catching many runny chunks of crap as they dripped off his heals in his spare hand. This image is forever etched in my brain.

I Love the Cards over the Ray-duhs!
I remember collecting football cards of great Raiders like Howie Long and Bo Jackson. Lars meanwhile, was busy collecting autographed basketball cards from the likes of Calvin Upshaw, Brad Lohous, Doug Moe and Cotton Fitzsimmons. I used to go into his room to see what he was doing, and when I opened the door and he was sitting on the floor gazing at his autographs, a dence cloud of brown methane from his anus would nearly knock me over. If I had been smoking our house would have been blown to smithereens.

I Love the Purp over the SAWKS!
I like my team this week after the bye- All indications are that the Vikes will try to run all over the shawks. Lars has a great run in bball…. Both baby hands turned inwards shoulder level, boucing up and down with each stride. Will he sink the open three pointer 9 out of 10 times? Yes. Will he look absolutely ridiculous doing it? Yes.

I Love the Cults over the Injuns!
The Redskins have that compulsive habit for spending way too much money on way too many free agents and getting stuck with big salaries. My brother has an equally distructive habit of buying CD’s for one song. Not only does that leave him broke, but it leaves him with a crap load of CD’s he never listens to. Personally, I don’t mind. I just borrow them.

I Love the Gents over the Brokebacks!
You dare me to pick the Giants? Are you serious? Okay.

Love dell

Legend- Signing in week 7

For my brother. I love you pal-

I love the Pants over the Bengs!!!! As long as we’re talking about pants, you could always tell when the Dell was about to poop his pants. The telltale sign was when he would stop a one-on-one games and stand, leaning against the pole with legs erect and ball under his armpit. He would then ask a question like, “so what’s new?”, a question he would never ask otherwise. It was really fun to grab another ball and through it at him while he worked through his prariedog problem. Pants by 10!!!

I love the JETS over the Lions!!! Nate’s favorite game for three years was the original version of Tie-Fighter for PC. I’m sure it would look hilarious now. A bunch of white specks and red/green lazers flying around. Jets by 10!!!

I love the Pack in Miamah!!!! Nate, I bet you’re glad you didn’t spring for that Purple infant Duante jersey. I’m sure glad you did. I couldn’t bear to see Ben in that thing. Pack by 3!!!

I love the Jags in Houston!!!! I remember a few summers when Nate was in highschool and his goal was to see every movie that came out in a summer. He would put up newspaper clippings of the movies he viewed. Apollo 13 was one of them, and Houston co-incidentally has a problem this Sunday. Jags by 14!!!

I love NE at Buf!!! This is Nate’s purgatory. On the one hand, his brother loves the Pats, on the other, his Grandmother loved the Jim Kelly led Bills. I expect a solid sha-lacking by the Pats, not unlike the sha-lacking that Nate receives when playing king of the hill on a snow mound, floating raft, or dirt pile. Pats by 12!!!

I love the Tampons over the Uglies!!! The tampons take a hit by losing one of the flattest asses in league history by trading Booger McFarland. Nate doesn’t have that sort of “happy ass” but he does use his ass better volume for volume than nearly anyone on the low block. Outstanding hook shot, below average lay-up accuracy. Bucs by 3!!!

I love the Steelers over the Falcors!!! I’m done picking the Falcors now, they are such a buzz kill. I expect a whipping sort of like when Nate whipped me directly in the back, unprovoked, with an Indiana Jones bull whip when I was 8. Sweet Dell. Steelers by 13!!!

I love the Bolts in Arrowhead!!! Nate seemed to have a weird fascination with things like Arrowhead, petrified wood, and rocks. Brother, do you still use that fossilized bird in cement as a paperweight? Bolts by 17!!!!

I love Cleveland to upset the B’cos!!! Nope, B’cos haven’t sold me at all yet. D is good, but I like the Browns coming off the bye week. Nate remember when we went to Canton last year? Have you ever seen so many Bob Evans and Strip Joints so close together? It’s great to fear for my life with you brother. Browns by 3!!!

I love the Cards in Oakland!!! I wonder if Nate has had a many injuries as the entire Raiders team over the last 9 years. The difference is, you just look at Nate’s ankle and he sprains it. You blow on his thumb and it’s jammed. You speak in his general direction and he gets a fat lip. Cards by 17!!!

I love the Shawks over the Purp!!! Nate sorta looks like former Sonic Detlef Schrempf, so I’ll take the S’hawks. BTW, greatest N-dell basketball moment. Before the games began at Roseville Cov Thursday night pick-up, Nate noticed a piece of blue foam hanging awkwardly from the side of the glass. He was perturbed, not wanting said foam to disturb the balling, he jumped up to pull it off. He grabbed it and pulled his legs up. Of course the foam gave way, and he fell directly on his coccyx. The dudes all saw it happen – it was pretty awesome. Hawks by 6!!!

I love the Colts over the Skins!!! If you ever get the chance, please have Nate throw a left handed passes with a football. It’s one of the greatest sights ever. It’s so awkward it hurts. Brunnel is a better lefty, but not by much. Colts by 14!!!

I love the Boys over the G-men!!! Brother, I wish you the best this week. Pick the G-men I dare you.

Logo Centric

-I love the Broncos even though their logo is only missing a unicorn horn. Talk about fantasy football. Seriously, it’s such a girly logo.

-I love the “Boxes next to the register at the restaurant, with the little candies in them that look like they should be free, but since they have a picture of a lion, and say Lions Club on them, I guess we should pay for them.” to win their first game. I have never purchased a Lion’s Club Peppermint Patty and I don’t know anyone who ever has. What a rip off, and also I don’t want to give charity to a club, so they can afford to put more fake wood paneling up in their dirty lodge.

-I love Lina. I had a dream last night where I was up north somewhere, and it was really windy, and there were a couple of panthers running around terrorizing people, I tried to shoot one of them with my sniper rifle, there was a big lake, and smoke rising from a distant city, and planes were flying like Mach 2 because of the tail winds. All in all a fairly uneventful dream, nothing too weird. (seriously, really tame)

-I love Bungelsitas. C, Palmer has let me down this season, in my fantasy league, but I do love the bungles. Also I predict C. Palmer will have an awesome game, to try and makeup for the last time he played two weeks ago.

-I love the “Robert Duvall in Open Range”. I wore my cowboy boots all day yesterday, and also my golfer on tiger Woods ’07 is a cowboy. Also, second week in a row where R. Duvall has been dropped.

-I love the NY Massives. I don’t think this constitutes an upset pic, honestly, but I can’t stand the falcons logo. It looks like one of those art deco statues built in the late 30’s to look like it was from the future. Lame. Plus The giant’s logo is the only one that is simply text. It reminds me of classic NHL style.

-I love the Electronic Gulls.

-I love Seaattle. Have you ever seen a seaHawk? They’re tremendous. They usually eat Rams by picking them up by grabbing their horns with their normous talons, and then they fly upwards, towards the top of a giant sequoia, where they hook the ram on a branch by its horns, so that it dangles, and a Narfling comes out of a hole in the tree and talks to the ram about the Blazing Dagger, and then he cuts the rams horns so it falls into the seahawks nest. There it is eaten.

-I love the “Indian’s equivalent to the N word”. The redskin’s actually have a cool logo, cAn’t believe it is still allowed, but I love it.

- I love the thieveries. Even though I can’t stand thieves, I once had a jean jacket stolen in New york. I drove around looking in allies for someone trying it on, I thought, I’m gona punch him in the throat to immobilize him, than I’ll get my jean jacket back. Then I’ll kick him in the groin, but then I’ll buy him a cup of coffee and a donut, cause there are a lot of Dunken Donuts in NY.

-I like the “thing that crashed us onto this crazy island”. This game is a tough decision, but since my dream involved jets last night, and Lost has started up again, and NY seems to be all about airplanes ramming things, and cause every time I think about the Jets I get that stupid song stuck in my head. Benny and the Jets, complete with fake crowd cheers. I PIC jETS

-I love the “Grizzly bear who runs at me full speed but then stops at my feet and lets his lower lip hang down, and rocks his head side to side.” Go chargers.

-I love the “hate to loves”. Go chicago bears, I guess.

-I love “Bye week”. Even though Minnesota has a bye week, I bet you they will still somehow manage to loose. As michael Bolten in Office Space once said "big time".

Treasure Smells Like My Dog's Butt

Man, what a tough week to pick. Lots of quality teams on the road against only slightly less quality teams. Similar to a cage match between the Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man Randy Savage. Usually you'd pick the Warrior hands down, but throw 'em in a cage and it at least makes you think a little bit.

I LOVE the Lions over the Bills - This is the week the Lions get off the schneid.

I LOVE the Pants over the Birds - Realize that the McNair/Mason combo have now played exclusively for two teams that bailed on their cities: the Oilers/Titans and the Browns/Ravens. That's some baaaad mojo.

I LOVE the Bungles over the Pewters - Chuckie and Gradkowski, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, (everybody sings)

I LOVE the Falcors over the G-men - The Falcors run for 638 yards against a pretty crappy defense, and Eli is still the "handsome" Manning, which is pretty scary.

I LOVE the Iggles over the Aints - Anybody else tired of Joe Horn's zoot suits?

I LOVE the Rams over the S-Hawks - Deion Branch is very equivalent to clipping coupons from the newspaper. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but in the end it doesn't really get you anywhere.

I LOVE the Skins over the Teets - Although you never know, seeing as how the most safe pick from last week, Colts at home over Teets, nearly proved incorrect.

I LOVE the Steelers over the Fighting Huards - Injury of the year: Kendall Simmons is out for the Steelers because he fell asleep with an icepack on his foot and got frostbite.

I LOVE the Jets over the Fins - Why, you ask? Two words: JoeyHarrington sucks. Count 'em. One, two.

I LOVE the Chargers over the Niners - I nominate Shawne Merriman as the "Most Exciting Defensive Player to Watch Since Derrick Thomas"

I LOVE the Dallases over the Houstons - Ooh, the Battle of Texas, the Showdown for the Lonestar State, the Commencement of Hostilities between the Two Teams based in the land formerly known as the Republic of Texas. Fascinating.

I LOVE the B'cos over the Raidahs - Man NBC has to be pumped for this game. The ratings will probably be off the charts. In other news, are the 2006 Raiders the absolute biggest disaster of a sports team of all time?

I LOVE the Bears over the Cards - It's always good to put a rookie QB against a D on pace to allow fewer points than maybe the greatest D of all time, the 1985 Bears. Oh, and he's missing his best receiver and his O-line is horrible. I predict this will go well for the Cards.

Going for the Win

Sorry, no rant this week. Upon receiving a rant point, the commish suggested I go for the win. I will do my best to respect his wishes. Here goes:

Buff over Detroit
Balt over Carolina
Cin over Tampa
Dal over Houston
Atl over Giants
NO over Philadelphia
Stl over Seattle
Wash over Tennessee
KC over Pittsburgh
Mia over Jets
SD over San Fran
Den over Oakland
Chi over Arizona

DELL ver. 6.0

I LOVE BARFELO over the MOTORCITYKITTYS!
Are both the Bills and the Lions lowsy loser teams? Yes. Do they both find ways to lose close games? Yes. Do they both resemble a runny pile of my dogs crap? The kind I have to pick up with a plastic baggy? Yes. Is there any way both of them can lose? No. The Bills have the odds against them, but I am absolutely convinced after last week that the lions will find some way to stay winless.

I LOVE THE PANTS over the RAVEENS!
It’s time for the Panthers to prove what they are made of. Big props to Legend. This game has to be a W for the Panthers to basically fit the John Fox pattern.

I LOVE THE BAGELS over the TAMPONS!
Isn’t it nuts how 3 weeks ago everyone was amazed with the Bagels and now all of a sudden they suck, they have all sorts of problems, the uniforms are ugly… etc…. If they loose to the Bucs I’m convinced.

I LOVE THE BROKEBACKS over the COWSKULLS!
How much does it suck to have TO on your team? For all those other players who ever wanted to be on “The Young and the Restless”, they’ve had that type of season. I’m just waiting for him to passionately plant a slo-mo smooch on the tuna under a foggy lens.

I LOVE THE FALCORS over the GIGALO GENTS!

I LOVE THE AINTS over the UGLIES!
Does anybody really believe all the Eagles hype? Come on. Go SANTS! What if Pope Benedict played for the saints? Would anyone have the courage to take him out or pull him down by his big pointy hat? I think not.

I LOVE THE SAWKS over the RAMRODS!
Even without Shaun Alexander the Hawks are still a better team. Can anyone explain the Rams?

I LOVE THE SKINS over the TEETS!
Man, what a crappy game. Remind me to mute the volume and watch this one with Creed pumped up on the stereo to 11.

I LOVE THE GAY TACONITE ORE PROSESSORS over the CHEFS!
No other team has more to prove this week than the Steelers.

I LOVE THE J.E.T.S. over the FLIPPERS!
Joey’s picks last week had to be thrown on purpose. I really think he’s getting paid by Vegas odds-makers to throw games ala Shoeless Joe. Meanwhile, Daunte gets his role on by himself back on the bench, or looking into a mirror in the locker room.

I LOVE THE BOLTS over the CRUSTY PROSPECTORS!
Last week, seeing those powder blue unis with the numbers on the helmets nearly gave me an erection. I don’t know what that means. Anyway, hands down THE coolest uniforms in professional sports. They cannot loose if they come out with the powder blue.

I LOVE THE BACOS over the RUDUHS
On a side note, what the hell are bacos made out of? It certainly isn’t bacon or any kind of real meat- In my opinion bacos are almost identical to Folgers instant coffee crystals, but with lots of artificial dog-food grade bacon flavoring.

I LOVE DA BERS over the LITTLE RED SONGBIRDS!
Do I even need to comment? The Bears have that ’85 aura about them, no doubt. As a fan of football, even Taco has to give props to da Bers.

Legend- Signing in - 6

I love the Lions over Buffalo!!! It's hard for me to see the Lions losing this week. They are due at least one win soon. They were much more competitve than the Bills and the Bills are walking with their tails between their legs.

I love the Pants over the Ravens!!! This is a classic stretch of the season where we forget about the Panthers and then in 3 weeks we are talking about how awesome they are. Then Fox gets outcoached in the playoffs. It's like an American pasttime!!

I love the Bucs over the Bengs!!! The Bengs basically pooped their pants against the Pats and the Bucs have to win soon. That D is still a single digit game waiting to happen and the Bucs have a QB that I can't pronounce but he good pretty good.

I love the Boys over the Cowskulls!!! When will people realize that Drew Bledsoe is a decent quarterback that pretty much never wins? He's Dominique Wilkins without the falttop, tight shorts, and windmill slam dunks. He's also my dad.

I love the Falcors over the Gmen!!! I like I'd rather watch more coverage of the Corey Lidle's death than NY's giants this weekend. The Falcors and Gmen have no intrigue at all for me. There is some good news about the Lidle death, at least a Yankees finally got a hit with a man on. I mean why couldn't Lidle find that sinker last week. I'm officially going to hell.

I love the Saints over the Ugglies!!! I could lose every game this week with picks like this, but the Saints are finding ways to beat teams at home and I'm certainly not sold on the Eagles. There wide out is Hank Baskett. Doesn't exactly instill confidence.

I love the S'Hawks over the Rams!!! If there is one thing I know about Scott Linehan, it's that he loves Gus Frerotte. The other thing I know about him is that he make you think he's good then he breaks your heart. I'm not falling for it.

I love the Skins over the Tits!!! Question: how in the world did we not come up with the "tits" nickname at WDYL's inception two years ago? We've all been calling them the Titans or the "Remember the.." or the Oilers. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.

I love the Steelers to rebound over KC!!!! Does anyone else think that Big Ben looks a lot like a not down-syndrome version of former WVU Mountaineer and current Celtic Kevin Pittsnogle. I mean seriously, take away the googly eyes, amateur tattoos, and deep inset retard eyes and they are fraternal twins!!

I love the JETS in NY!!!! I mean, we always knew that Lidle was a fireballer. I couldn't be more ticked at ESPN. If Lidle was on the Royals, Twins, or Mariners, this would've gotten a minute of coverage after NASCAR nation, the WNBA allstar game, and another story on Alex Rodriguez. I think they just launch an ESPNlidle station.

I love the Bolts in SanFran!!! Can everyone please agree that Shawne Merriman is my daddy. I mean seriously, the dudes a stud. Everytime the Bolts wear the throw backs I ask my wife to have sex!!!

I love the Bacos over the Gaydars!!! How come ESPN didn't give Lidle-esque coverage to Aaron Brooks death two weeks ago. What? He's still alive?

I love the Bears in AZ!!!! I'm with Peter though, all the Miami Sbowl talk down here makes me more and more sure that Grossman will break the lower half of his body without anyone touching him (seriously, did anyone even touch him), or throw 5 ints some game, or Urlacher will pull a hammy, or Kruetz will give birth to a small fawn. Something is going to happen soon. I feel it.

Unfunny Prevacation Trip Picks

My Rant Speaks for itself.



Atlanta
Dallas
Detroit
Seattle
Eagles
Cincy
Skins
Panthers
Jets
Steelers
Chargers
Broncos
Bears

hudded perset yo!

did denver just win last night, and push me to a 100% week? I was watching the Departed during the game so if someone could tell me if denver won and I just got a hundred percent week. Curse officially voided. Did the mysterious growth in my armpit give me exceptional mind powers, like Travolta in that movie with R. Duvall, the one where he has a tumor and it makes him smart? Does complaining in a quite negative manner somehow produce positive results? Who knows? But I can say for sure, I'm rubbin it in as much I can, cause, it's my first win, and possibly only. So take that WASS.

Actually i'm not even 100% positive That i did get a 100% week.
-hans

Mystery - Week 5

Chicago over Buffalo - Bears D plays game with eyes closed. Bills score 3.Carolina over Cleveland - Local Cleveland high school team goes to Carolina inplace of the Browns. No one notices.Minnesota over Detroit - Lions players seen giggling throughout game becausethey can't believe they're still being called an NFL teamNew England over Miami - Patriots fans give loudest ovation to Saban because hecontinues to put Culpepper in as quaterbackSt. Louis over GB - Favre contends he still wants to continue to play football,but admits he gave up trying to play well a long time agoNO over TB - Bucs lose but Gruden finally passes kidney stone he's been pushingout for yearsIndy over Tennessee - Three more Tennessee players attack defenseless Coltsbecause they realize they won't have to then continue to play for the TitansWashington over Giants - LaVar Arrington goes over and sits on Redskins benchbecause he's more comfortable there than on the fieldKC over Arizona - Kurt Warner goes down with a concussion even though he's notstartingJax over Jets - Jaguars give their defensive line the day off. Jets average 2.3yards a carry.Oakland over SF - Thinking he's funny Jerry Porter calls this game the "HorraBowl." Albert Haynesworth flies across the country and kicks him in the head.Haynesworth gets reinstated.Dallas over Philly - Not to be outdone, McNabb seen on the sidelines trying towrite a better children's book than T.O. He ends up making his mom do it.SD over Pitt - Steelers are to a win as Jerome Bettis is to a good studiocommentatorBalt over Denver - Broncos and rest of football world are in utter dismay thatJamal Lewis and Steve McNair are not injured yet

Buffy's Last Stand

Timmb - What the hell? How can you claim that the big pick doesn't have a place in WDYL? When I correctly pick both the Texans and Browns to win their first game, as I so presciently did last week, I want the world to know!! In the future, let's keep the negativity to ourselves, ok?

Chicago over Buffalo - Unless Darryl Talley comes off the bench to sack Grossman, Bills got no shot.

Pants over Poops - Coming off their triumph against the mighty Raiders, Poops suffer a letdown.

Vikes over Lions - Yes, Lars is correct. Vikes resemble the Trent Dilfer Ravens or Brad Johnson Bucs that won S-Bowls, but their defense isn't nearly that good. I nominate Steve Hutchinson for least impactful headline grabbing offseason acquisition through four games.

Pats over Fins - You know, trading Daunte for the right to draft an offensive lineman named Ryan Cook in the second round isn't looking so bad right now.

Rams over Green Bay - This is totally against my better judgement. Marc Bulger will probably turn Kurt Warner and break his hip, amd Brett Favre is still Brett Favre. Which means that he can be terrible for three games and then look like the MVP.

Saints over Bucs - Gradkowski drops back...

Colts over Teets - Cory Simon may be out with a severe case of roundness, but who wins the shootout between Peyton and Vince?

G-men over Skinnies - Jason Sehorn comes back to make a big pick and marry another supermodel.

Chiefs over Cards - Cards O-line is worse than the macaroni and cheese that you made late at night but never finished, or even took out of the pot, but still chose to eat the next morning after it had been sitting out all night. Actually, that's pretty good, so I guess saying the Cards are worse than that is not saying much. Never mind.

Jags over Jets - The Jets are going to lose, but I gotta give it up for the solid retro look in, and this is key, their regular, every game uniforms. This isn't some throwback, once a season thing. It's a commitment to honoring a time when life was simpler, classier. A time when QBs in New York wore fur coats on the sidelines. When scandals involved breaking into the headquarters of your political rivals, not "e-mails" to "young boys." When d-lineman could be proud and unashamed of their steroid use. Here's to you, Jets, and bringing us back to the good old days.

Niners over Raiders - Oakland worst football team all time ever.

Iggles over Boys - Watching this game just to hear T. O. get the loudest round of boos in sporting history. And it couldn't happen to a better town.

Chargers over Steelers - LT is like the fifth element from the movie The Fifth Element. "The supreme being. Perfection." And also because he likes wearing five strips of cloth in public and taking off his wet shirt with strange men in the room.

Broncos over Ravens - I picked one road team to win. Very crafty. Or very stupid.

If I lose to Buffet, my name is Peter Williams.

Unfunny Sunday A.M. Pics

Bears
Rams
Colts
Vikes
Pats
Saints
Giants
Panthers
Chiefs
9ers
Jags
Eagles
Chargers
Bacos

pic-rant

I’m finally excited to be able to watch some F-ball games now that I have a tv. Needless to say my NFL season has been the worst ever considering I’ve only watched two games, both of wich were the vikes tumbling towards the third ring of some sort of clown school hell. How long does it take to cut your hometown ties? Cmon, I mean, Twolve’s are beginning to look like the Lynx, the twins are beginning to look like the Vikes undefeated season, you know, the one where they didn’t win the superbowl, or even get very far in the playoffs, and the Twins are well, they play baseball. Also I do believe lars may have brought up some interest in another sport long forgotten since a strike or two, and since Dallas grabbed our stars by their norths and yanked hard. Anyway, I’m a bit sick, I had some sort of gland erupt in my arm pit and ooze a green smelly substance today. On that note, My fantasy team sucks, and I think I am o and 4 for Wass conference. Not to gripe, but man, sometimes I just feel like the whole world is out to get me. That’s why when times get rough, and movies aren’t that good anymore, I reach for a tall can of Blatz and pop in Convoy. Here are my anti pics. No explanations to hopefully void off my curse.
I love Carol Lina
I Love Da Chicago
I love Rams
I love Colts
I love Purps
I love New Englancht
I love Orleans
I love Giants
I love Chiefs
I love Jacksonville
I ove Frasisco
I love Phili
I love San Diego
I love Denver

non-pic rant

this blog site is terribly confusing and awkward to navigate. for instance i just posted a comment on lar's post, why isn't there a button for me to return to the main WASS site. Also In order to post something you have to find the main blogger site and log in. why not put a log in button on the actual WASS site? am i just that stupid? it's like those gas pumps that you have to push the little green Start button for the gas to start pumping, i mean, what the hell? It's like those grocery stores that make you check yourself out. A) I'm not getting paid to check myself out and bag my OJ, Dab, plain yogurt, and Connies pizza and B) Those robots are the dumbest things I've ever interacted with. Although I'm not sure how they compare to the human versions in the next isle over. At least I can understand what the robot is saying.

Also Lars I'm coming over for some Aurelios. Best square cut pizza ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dell Week 5

Ahhh, week 5. We have a better understanding of the league- who’s legit, who not, and we finally got my brother’s NHL related picks. Boy, he sure does know a lot about Hockey huh? Boy, that’s great. Remind me to do my picks entirely in Mandarin Chinese some week Lars and you’ll understand how I feel. All apologies to Nat Treasure- He played me well in week 4 and submitted pictures of himself on the crapper and somehow lost. I feel partially responsible. This week the Mystery Man faces my wrath- eat it sucka. By the way, who IS the mystery man? Based on the previous entries, I’m betting he’s one of these guys:

Dave Coulier, Trent Lott, or Luciano Povarotti


Regardless of his true identity, he will eat my poop this week.

I LOVE da BERS over BARFELLO! Bears fans, ENJOY THE SEASON. Your club is dang good. They really don’t have a weakness. The Bills are tougher than they appear, but with the Bers at Soldier they will have serious troubles.

I LOVE PoPANTELONES over the SKIDMARKS! The Pants gotta nab a few wins while they can to stay in this thing- Now that Steve Smith is back, the Browns got troubles galore on Defense.

I LOVE the PURP over the MOTORCITYKITTYS! My brother is right, the VIKES offense is an exact clone of the Orton led 2005 Bers. It makes for horrible football. I gotta believe they will light up the awful Lions passing D (worst in the league) and get some big runs once the linebackers shift back in coverage.

I LOVE the PATS over MIAMO! Saying you’re a Dolphins fan is kind of like saying that you love Macy Grey. It proves that you like crap. Remember her cameo in Spiderman when the Green Goblin flew over the stage? That was sweet. Last weeks thrashing of the Bungles was amazingly impressive for the Pats. I don’t see this game being close. The Phins can’t touch the Pats with a completely immobile Daunte. It kind of reminds me of the Fridge taking on Minute Bol on Fox’s celebrity boxing. Minute Bol’s boxing skills certainly were nothing special but the Fridge was easily a hundred pounds overweight and could barely lift his arms. Plus, he couldn’t reach Bol with his stubby arms even if he could lift them. It was sad watching these guys stoop so low, but hey, that’s why we love FOX!


I LOVE the PUCKERS over the RAMRODS! So far, the Rams remind me a lot of Kid Rock and Uncle Kracker. Yes, they suck bigtime and no one believes they are legit musicians. Yet they sell a lot of albums and rake in the moola. Regardless of their suckyness, they have been successful and that’s all that matters. Uncle Kracker opened up for the counting crows a few years ago. He sang 2 entire songs 1/2 step flat. It was like getting an audio lobotomy. People were screaming boos. I do not like the Rams. The Pack figured something out in the first half against Philly before getting waxed, so I’m pickin the upset. GO PACK GO!

I LOVE NAWLINS over the TAMPONS! Another emotional return to the Superdome-The Saints win here. Does anyone else think it’s awkward to see this multibillion-dollar event going down in a city where people still can’t live or work? Who can afford these tickets? If it’s really all about bringing hope to the people, give all the tickets away to the poor blacks who lost everything and got moved to Utah against their will to live with mormons.

I LOVE the CULTS over the TEETS! Wow, the Colts have had some easy games at home. Payton’s runs have been just as consistent as mine after refried bean dip on game day.

I LOVE the RACIAL SLURS over the GIGALO GENTS! I love seeing the Giants struggling. You can tell that something or someone is going to explode soon. Tom Coughlin looks like he’s aged 10 years in the last 2 months. Remember when Jeremy Shocky said that his ultimate fantasy was a 3-way with a set of triplets? Wow, someone needs to teach him how to add. The skins have been rolling-

I LOVE the CHEFS over the CARDS! I have to think something from the 41-0 game last week will roll over into AZ. Plus, Matt Lienart is starting his first game, and he needs a little more time. The Chefs D stomped Denver and still lost.

I LOVE the JAG-YOU-WAS over the J.E.T.S.! I Jags am still dang good. I heard that assistant coach Tice really wants to trade for Randy Moss. That would be fantastic trade, just imagine that sweet football team with all their speed and teamwork adding Moss with his mouth, his pot, his Afro, and his walker. The guy is old and he’s done. I love that he has to suffer in Oakland. Fantastic.

I LOVE the CRUSTY OLD PROSPECTORS over POISON OAK! The 9ers may not be that great, but they are the better of 2 bottom dwellers. It’s a lot like getting dragged to Good Earth with my wife and having to choose between whole-wheat pasta with pumpkin sauce or an organic dandelion leaf salad with walnuts and wheat germ. It all tastes like sand, but at least the pasta has pasta and somewhat resembles food I actually eat. On a completely unrelated note, Am I the only one who thinks Art Shell is right up there with Phil Mickelson as guys who need a Manzere?

I LOVE the UGLIES over the BROKEBACKS! Might as well call this the Terrell Owens bowl. That Stadium is going to be so loud and McNabb is going to be so pumped to torch TO’s new team. All the hype goes to the Eagles.

I LOVE the BACOS over the RAVEENS! Nuf. Said. It ends this week for the Ravens.

Legend - Week 5 signing in

Butter, good to face you this week after you trashed me last week. Butter, let me clarify, I’m not, in any way shape or form, rooting for the Bears. And if you you’re going to tell me that it’s dumb that I root for the Pats or Bolts, then you need to trash Berg for loving the Steelers, or Williams for loving the Bills, or Lemke the Colts. Same principle. Enjoy your loss. I love you. And as expected, a little hockey talk on this opening face off week:

I love the Pats over Miamah!!! Zdeno Chara, one of my favorite hockey d-men has joined one of my favorite hockey squads. I like the look of the Bruins D, and their power play should be outstanding with the offense of those big brutes. Bertuzzi in south beach – a match made in heaven. Pats by 14!!!

I love the Bucs in NO!!!! Just a hunch here. Has anyone else noticed that when the Tampa Bay football and hockey franchises are winning their jerseys are awesome, but when they are losing they belong in the XFL/IHL? Bucs by 6!!!

I love the Skins over the G-men!!! Alexander Ovechkin? Are you kidding me? I think the Skins should go Cerulian and Pewter like the Wiz and the Caps. Or that the caps should go back to red, and the wiz go back into the bullets reds and blue. Loved Tom Gougliotta on the Bullets. Skins by 7!!!

I love the Purple over the Lions!!! If you’re a Wild fan, you’ve got to love putting a couple of Slovaks together on your first line. I’m still pooping my pants that the Wild actually spent money on players in an offseason!! I’m thinking 6th seed, just low enough to meet the 3 seeded Detriot Red Wings. For today, Minnesota by 10!!!

I love the Pants in Carol’s land!!! The Stanley Cup champs and their average looking goalie stud Cam Ward should put up a good defense. I miss the Hartford Whalers!! Pants by 3!!!

I love Chicago over Buf!!!! This game feels dangerous for the Bears to me, but I’ll pick them because the Hawks have the best jerseys in the NHL and the Sabres new jerseys are about as bad as they come. I love Daniel Briere though. Havlat should get the Hawks to about 30 wins. Don’t hold your breath. Bears by 7!!

I love the Pack over the Rams at Lambeau!!! Another hunch here. The Blues should make the Hawks even look good this year. Worst NHL jerseys ever? How about the primary colored Blues jerseys of the mid-90s? Pack by 9!!!

I love the Colts over the Tits!!! I like the Preds this year. Good, young, fast team. I think I’d be more likely to take the Preds over the Colts than I would take the Tits over the Colts. Overrateds by 10!!!

I love the Jags over the Jets!!! Did anybody else see that Isles goalie Rick DiPietro signed a 15 year deal a month or so ago? 15 years huh? I don’t know that it’s a great fiscal move for the Isles, but I do know that it’s good for American hockey. The Chris Osgood era is over, and DiPietro has been decent in international play. Jags by 10!!!
I love the 9ers in the battle of the Bay!!!! Sharks have the greatest name in the NHL – Johnathon Cheechoo. If his first name was something strange like Igor or Vladimir, it would be a normal hockey name, but his first name is johnathon. Pretty funny. 9ers by 7!!!

I love the Cards in AZ!!!! Cheifs looked good last week, but I’m not sold. Just like I’m not sold on the idea of Phoenix having a hockey team. What a crying shame! Cards by 7!!!

I love the Boys in Philly!!! E Lindros in Big-D? He’ll never re-create the glory of being in Philly. Now that Per Forsberg’s job. Oh yeah, Forsberg and Gagne on the same line. Look out. Boys by 12!!!

I love the Bolts over the Steelers!!! Did I just hear that the Penguins got sold to a blackberry device? Bolts by 17!!!!

I love the Ravens in Denver!!! Wild open with the Avs tonight. Can you imagine how bad that team would be without Joe Sakic? Ravens by 6!!!

How fast do YOU blog?

WDYL turbo edition

Falcors over Cards - Warner's a cyborg

Boys over Tits - Marco Rivera for President

Indy over Jets - HELLO!!!

Texans over Fins - Because nobody goes 0-16

Vikes over Bills - Brad Johnson is my next door neighbor

Pants over Saints - New Orleans is all better, now they lose

Ravens over Chargers - Rivers looks like Robocop

Chiefs over Niners - Huard is a poor man's Elvis Grbac

Rams over Lions - How can Grbac's name have five letters and only one vowel?

Browns over Raiders - Because they can't both lose

Jags over Skins - John Henderson sits on Brunell, breaks his head

Bengals over Pats - WHO DEY?

Bears over S-hawks - With a name like Rex, but he should have McMahon's hair

Iggles over Packers - Two words: Hank Fraley

Got it in before ten. Might not be good, but man was it fast.

Mystery Man - Week 4

As Mystery Man, I have a bone to pick. Last week my true name slipped out.This was not appreciated. Prior to one week ago, the identity of Mystery Manwas truly a mystery even to myself. No one knew my identity. So why was thecommish so flippant in discarding a really well kept secret? Just because Idon't post directly on the blog and must use the commish to post doesn't meanhe can abuse his power. I'm MYSTERY MAN. You'd think it would beself-explanatory. So please, from now on, get the name right. Onto the picks: Atlanta over Arizona - Michael Vick realizes he completes passes better when hecloses his eyes. Dallas over Tennessee - Titans are too busy making T.O. jokes Indy over Jets - Peyton films another commercial between every play Miami over Houston - Coach Saban tells Culpepper to try passing to the Houston defense. Minnesota over Buffalo - Dick Jauron can't hold a straight face any longer and starts uncontrollably laughing New Orleans over Carolina - NFL admits they are fixing games to make the Saints the feel-good story of the year San Diego over Baltimore - McNair remembers he's supposed to be injured San Fran over KC - Herman Edwards didn't win with the Jets St. Louis over Detroit - The Rams get pumped up before the game by watching video of how Mike Martz ruined their club Cleveland over Oakland - Raiders figure they'll take a fourth bye week Jax over Washington - Joe Gibbs keeps calling plays for Joe Theismann, John Riggins, and Tony Stewart Cincinn over NE - Patriots trade the rest of their wide receivers away Chicago over Seattle - Bears win. Nothing to joke about. Philly over GB - To prevent another Giant-like comeback, the game is ended after three quarters