It's late(r) Saturday night and I nearly forgot to make my picks. Liz and I just got home from seeing the latest Kevin Costner-Ashton Kutcher epic "The Guardian" (relax, we had a free ticket), and right now to be truthful, all I really want to do is drink my Russian Tea and play Age of Empires III while Liz watches a recorded 20/20 episode of The Crocodile Hunter. But, last week was a weak attempt at an entry, and I promised I'd do better this week. I owe Slashdell that much. He's a good sport and we've eaten mash potatoes and gravy in the MA teachers lounge before so, you know, we're practically related. So I'll get off my can this week and make a decent entry, or at least try to.
Alge Crumpler's Big A over the Cards
Two teams with bad names. Because of Alge's fat A, they should be called the Altanta Big Momma's Houses. And, I didn't think there were any Cardinals in Arizona. They should be called the Arizona Road Runners, or, the Arizona Retired and Sagging Breasts.
Antoine Winfield Doesn't Make Mistakes over Dick Jauron Death Watch
At some point this year I predict Jauron will collapse on the field and croak. Nobody will even notice until after the game when they scoop him up and turn him into animal slurry.
Terrell Owens Suicide Watch over The Not the Only Tens I See
Somewhere in Crazyville, AKA Dallas, TO and John Thierry are holed up sitting in diapers and playing Pinnocle.
Kansas City Royals over San Francisco Giants
The Giants were on to a good thing before Frank Gore was injured, but now that he's out, they're screwed.
Indianapolis Pubescent Horses over the New York Blah Blah Blahs
Chap Pennington looks like a good kid.
N.O. over the Cats of North Carolina
The Panthers are going to the SuperBowl. If Dan Morgan doesn't have anymore concussions that lead to brain tumors, if Steve Smith's hamstring isn't more tender than a Jewish pot roast, if Keyshawn Johnson doesn't write another book, if Jake Delhomme isn't bad, if John Fox doesn't call anymore stupid tosses, if North Carolina doesn't secede from the nation over state's rights (not slavery) and if the Hurricanes don't win anymore Stanley Cups, they'll win the Super Bowl. I'm pretty sure.
Bill Cosby's Favorte Team over It's Always 68 Degrees here.
Baltimore has a realy good defense, and a really high crime rate. Fans in their stadium pack heat. It's not the defense oppossing teams fear, it's getting capped from Ray Ray in section 101, row H, seat 14. OK, maybe not just Ray Ray, that was racist. Ray Ray and Jim. They're afraid of Ray Ray and Jim.
Tex Mex over Miami's Finest
Going out on a limb here, but Daunte sucks and he's fat, so he'll break that limb.
St. Louis over Detroit.
Rams will win, Lions will not.
Cats with Stripes over Pats
If these two teams were Broadway shows, one would be the longest running show on Broadway of all time, and one would be a show about an ambiguous and sexually confused person.
Poopy McPoops-A-Lot over Raduuhhs
Battle of the Bulge. This game is decided on the dinner table as Romeo Crennel and Art Shell duke it out. Unfortuneatly, Kobayashi wins in a landslide, again.
Jx over Warsh
What's with some people calling it Warsh? You can't warsh the clothes or your car. Idiots.
Bears over Holmgren
The Bears will win because Holmgren will be in the locker room the whole game watching the Battle of the Bulge on NFL Pass wishing he was there.
Green Machine over Greean Machine
The Packers will lose this game, the same way the world lost Steve Irwin. By a manta ray with spikes in it's tail.....carried by Donovan McNabb.
2 comments:
Remind me to post that picture of you taking a dump on my door at school so all the young girls who still refer to you as Quizno's (the Hot Sub) will see it...
There can't still be students there who remember me.
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