Hey All Y'allHere's my pics for weekend one, perhaps the best weekend of the entire year. I have already decided to skip church, I have already unplugged my phone, and I have already purchased Tortilla chips, Bean Dip, a case of beer and a box of depends. By the way, heres a picture of me as a negro. Notice with hushed awe the dew rag.
Here goes. Kiss my dust Hangkws
MIAMI over PITT - I had every intention of picking Pittsburgh until I caught a glimpse of Charlie Bi-atch during preseason. Holy crap was he bad. Bring back Tommy Maddox and his prosthetic arm. If Batch starts as the #2, Miami all of a sudden looks a lot better.
Carolina over ATL- I'll side with everyone else across the country and say Carolina looks mighty good.
Tampa over Baltimore- Goldylocks QB Chris Simms is gonna have a great year.
PATS over BUF- Watch out for the 2006 rookie of the year, Lawrence Mulrony.
Cinci over Kansas City on the road in week one- Carson Palmer looks mighty good. The chiefs look like they took a big step back from last year. I'm going wit the road team
St. Louis over Denver- Wow- a toss up. I'll go with the home tea and a ton of patented Scott Linehan trick plays in week one. Knowing Linehan, the rams will confuse everyone for 3 or 4 weeks, then get thier asses handed to them once everyone else studies the film.
New Orleans over the Browns- Ung. Hope this is a better game than it appears. Reggie Bush could tear up the browns and in general, the saints are probably up for this game more so than the browns.
Tennessee over NY JETS -the jets are my new pick against 'em until they win team. I like Chad Pennington and he looks good, but he has no one to throw to or hand the ball off to. Without Curtis Martin and his bum knees (he'll spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair) I cant pick the jets on the road.
Philly over Houston- complete stab in the dark here.
Seattle over Detroit- I for one, do not believe the Roar had been retored
Chicago at Green Bay- sorry leg. By the way, Stacey Augman is waaaaay more exciting to watch than Michael Jordan
Jacksonville over Dallas- tough pick- I'm goin with the home team. If Mike Vanderjakt misses another field goal the dallas fans will crucify him in front of Texas Stadium. I love it. I can't explain why, but I love that he fails. I route for him to fail. Can someone explain this? I think it's because his face reminds me of the cocky kind of guy you'd see hanging out at Senior Frogs to drink coors light and eye up the women- the kind of guy you want to sneak up behind and sucker punch in the face without ever saying a word to him. Do you know what I mean?
Arizona over SanFran- the first game in a new stadium and the start of a new era of cardinals football would have to be a boost here for the home team. Plus Denny Green plays the drums and that has to count for something.
Indianapolis over Giants- I'm also riding Indy until they loose, because no matter what Ledg says the colts have had huge winning streaks every year. This could be a close game.
Minnesota of Washington- Maybe its all the buzz I've read around here, but it appears the Vikes have lots of crazy game plan to pull out Monday night, and it doesn't hurt that Kenny Wright is the best cornerback on the Skins.
Oakland over San Diego- Wow- I hate picking this game, but I have to go with the home team, even if it is the raiders. By the way, I say right now that Aaron Brooks will be demoted and eventually fired by week 4. How bad does a starting QB have to suck to not be a starting QB anymore? I cannot believe the Raiders went after him so hard.
Alrighty then. Let the games begin.
13 comments:
Yeah, I hate Vanderjagt like I hate Robert Horry, Chipper Jones, Dominik Hasek. Can't explain it. I just want to hurt all of them.
But why Mike Vanderjagt? I mean, what if he clothes needy kids in Rwanda or at least volunteers for the united way? Why do I hate him? Why do I want to punch him in the face?
If he was LB, DB, heck even a punter, you'd repsect him more. If you saw Paul Edinger on the street would you tell me, "Yo beloved brother, I saw an NFL player today". No, you'd say, "Yo pal, I saw a punter today". You're not obligated to respect kickers in anyway shape or form. The bigger question is why to I hate Titan's coach Jeff Fischer?
You HATE Jeff Fischer? But what about the stache? He looks like he should be singing "Blessed Assurance" with tons of Vibratto and a cheesy instrumental track on Christian TV. You can't hate the guy.
And by the way, if I passed Paul Edinger on the street I'd never say "I saw a punter today". I'd say, I saw this scruffy dock-worker wrapped in newspaper on a park bench today.
You still didn't answer any of lifes persistant questions, like why do I want to sucker punch Mike Vanderjagt?
By the way, what the hell is crotch goul and why has it become one with the pittsburgh steelers?
Tim came up with Crotch Ghouls. Jeff Fischer also looks like he should be selling geo metros in a trahy city like Miami. As far as Vanderjagt, could it be that he looks like Jeff Garcia a little bit? When questions like this arise I ask the question, "What would this guy be like in a pick-up game at Roseville Cov? He'd be hotdogging, ball hogging, and telling me to "C'mon, come down with that board big man!"
He's also be hanging on the rim and slapping the backboard evey time down the floor to proove that he has hopps. He'd probably want to play with his shirt off to show off his barbed wire armband tattoo. Gall, I hate those people.
Jeff Fisher does look like a Miami used car salesman. Speaking of Miami, he also could be the slightly fatter and less sweaty seperated-at-birth identical twin of ousted heat coach Stan Van Gundy.
Hey, how do I post a new thread? I cannot figure it out. This whole blogging thing is like chinese to me.
I think you can click on your name anywhere once your logged in and you can find out your profile, what blogs you are a part of and stuff like that
I completely back all of legs comments on this topic. I'd also like to add that Lonnie Baxter was arrested for walking around the white house carrying a loaded gun, but I still hate Robert Horry, Rick Fox, John Madden, the Cubs, Lance Armstrong, and Sergio Garcia more than Lonnie.
You hate Sergio Garcia? What did he ever do to you accept falsly get your hopes up that someone might even remotely challenge tiger and wear fashionble clothes?
Timmb, do you mean to tell me that you would sucker punch sergio garcia and john madden in the face??>?? Rick Fox and Robert Whorey deserve it, but offer me at least some explaination. I still want to punch Mike Vanderjagt in the face.
Dell, nice Chicago at Green Bay pick. I thought they were going to play at Soldier Field myself but you are always so good at predicting where they are going to play. Kudos!..... i hate that word and some announcer yesterday used it about 10 times.
wow, thanks Decent Destroyer! You have decently destroyed every shread of dignity I have. In all fairness, did the Chicago game even need to be played? The div. 3 Southwest Utah Mormon Poly-Tech Screamin' Whities had a better shot of scoring even a field goal against da' bers.
Nice icon Dell, love it!
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