In Memoriam NFC

I LOVE the Ravecors over the Falsucks - because they're not the Falsucks.

I LOVE the Texmex over the Large Furry Cowhunter - It says here J.P. Losman looks like a supersized, incompetent version of Doug Flutie.

I LOVE the Bears over the Jets - I think Grossman has an evil twin who occasionally kidnaps and takes his place in games.

I LOVE the Aints over the Bungles - Aints can't stop anyone, but neither can bungles, and Aints are America's team. It's unpatriotic to pick against them.

I LOVE the Phins over the Vikes - It's ironic that for all those years the Vikes offense was awesome but their defense sucked so bad they couldn't get over the hump. Now they've got a great defense and they've got Brad Johnson "managing" the offense.

I LOVE the Pats over the Pack - No way Brady loses three in a row.

I LOVE the Chefs over the Oaks - No way I'm ever picking the Oaks again.

I LOVE the Steelers over the Browns - W. Parker runs over 397 yards and Reuben Droughns has a lot of extra letters in his name.

I LOVE the Pants over the Rams - I've picked the Rams like 4 weeks in a row, and they've lost like 4 weeks in a row. Twice I've picked them over the S-hawks...and twice they've lost on last-second field goals. No more, Rams, no more.

I LOVE the Ugglies. Who are they playing?

I LOVE the Tampons over the Skins - Cadillac needs an oil change, though.

I LOVE Cards over Lions - I'm picking the Cards every week, cuz surely they have to win again sometime, right?

I LOVE the Shawks over the Fighting Stadium Deals - Where the frick is Santa Clara, anyway?

I LOVE the Indy 500 over the Sixth-Round QBs - I really feel like Lars is picking on me, and it hurts man. Is this still because of that thing with the pickled herring? It was totally an accident. How could I know that the brakes wouldn't work and your hands would swell up to the size of a normal persons?

I LOVE the Bolts over the Bcos - Can't wait for Merriman, can't wait for Merriman, can't wait...

I LOVE the Gs over the Jacks - I give up on picking either of these teams. Can I pick apathy?