Hawnks in depth look at actual football.

tarvaris "put me in" jackson
I haven’t seen someone avoid a topic like hans has, since the last time I had a sty the size of an avocado stuck in my eye and proceeded to make fun of Tim’s somewhat smaller sty. Hooo-ah.. I’m not sure if I’ve had one rant all season that actually talked about football. Sure, I could take the Kasey “ooh I’m in Grad School” approach and blame it on my large number of projects, like for instance the ten page paper I just wrote about Kevin Costner’s the Postman. I’ll send it to anyone who wants it as proof of what grad school is teaching me. Don’t get me started on how many years I will be paying for G-school. I mean that Postman paper probably cost me $7,342 to write. Worth it, I might add. Anyway, I’d like to thank Lars for his Poppy and Luke Pepper tribute (give yourself a rant point soon, man) and also for coming to my art show last week. So I tried to actually mention at least a player, stat, or educated opinion within each game rant.

Atlanta vs balti. Hi, I’m steve mcNair. I made 8 million dollars last year, and I wasn’t even that good. I now have 27 fishing poles in my garage, and a workout room in my basement with mirrors all around, so my wife can watch herself bounce on the big workout ball. I love Baltiless

Buff vs Houston Buff’s coach (Dick) Jauron said 'I love where we're going, not where we're at.' " and I’d respond with, what the hell are you talking about, where you at is terrible and where you going is horrible. I love buffalo anyway.

Chic vs NYJets Two road games back to back in the same stadium. I can just picture Rex in the locker room saying “hey, my whitey tighties are still here, and so are the skid marks. “ I love Chicago

Bungles vs Saints what happened in the Bingles locker room last week? I swear special teams was playing Bubla (bubble hockey), the offense was playing Golden Eye, and the Defense was playing Frolf. When they came back onto the field, they all had that, N64 look in their eyes, like hey, I just can’t function in the real world without my rocket launcher and hawk-eye mid-range disc. I love Bungles and frolf references.

Minn vs Miam I love Minn
I still can’t get over the fact that Brad J is still in the game. What
have we got to lose. Put Tarvaris Jackson in and let’s get interesting.
I love rookie QB’s and have a feeling he has got some flee flickers up his sleeves. The vikes, historically speaking, have only had winning seasons when flea flickers have been a common part of the playbook. We almost recovered an onside kick the other day. Not exactly a flea flicker, but definitely funner to watch than same old Brad “loss of 17 yrds” Johnson.

England vs green bay. Patriots exist as my least favorite team of all time. I love streaks, especially losing streaks. I love Greese Bay.

Oak vs Kansas city Trent green’s concussion has subsided, but he still isn’t allowed to play unless he wares yellow strips of fabric velcroed to his pants. and a helmet over his helmet. I love KC

Pitt vs Cleveland Definitely a rematch game. The browns are furious after last years Pitt game. and I love furious foutball. I love angry Brown.

Loius vs carol you got to love vomiting wide receivers. I hope steve smith was the player that they decided to attach a microphone to during the game. What a gag reel that would be. I love carol

tennis vs. philly Quarter back attack. I love mcNabble’s eggles

wash vs tB J. Campbell has never played in a single down. I love it. and wish the vikes would follow suit. I love skins

detriment vs cards I wonder how Denny got into futball in the first place? I love lions

seat vs franscicso Alexandrea is back baby. and ooh he looks so good in that dark uniform. I hope that putty he bought at the hardware store helps keep his foot together. love seaatle

indi vs dallas I love dallas
my vote for tough-call-game-of-the-week. They have to lose sooner or later right? Unless they are another ’98 vikings team. Undefeated all the way to the playoffs, then kablam, Denny forgets how good his team is and makes some horrible decisions.

diego vs Denver Another tough call-game. 7-2 for both teams. I think 3 in a row is enough for Diego. I love Denver

giants vs Jackson I love the injury proned giant.