Treasure Smells Like My Dog's Butt

Man, what a tough week to pick. Lots of quality teams on the road against only slightly less quality teams. Similar to a cage match between the Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man Randy Savage. Usually you'd pick the Warrior hands down, but throw 'em in a cage and it at least makes you think a little bit.

I LOVE the Lions over the Bills - This is the week the Lions get off the schneid.

I LOVE the Pants over the Birds - Realize that the McNair/Mason combo have now played exclusively for two teams that bailed on their cities: the Oilers/Titans and the Browns/Ravens. That's some baaaad mojo.

I LOVE the Bungles over the Pewters - Chuckie and Gradkowski, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, (everybody sings)

I LOVE the Falcors over the G-men - The Falcors run for 638 yards against a pretty crappy defense, and Eli is still the "handsome" Manning, which is pretty scary.

I LOVE the Iggles over the Aints - Anybody else tired of Joe Horn's zoot suits?

I LOVE the Rams over the S-Hawks - Deion Branch is very equivalent to clipping coupons from the newspaper. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but in the end it doesn't really get you anywhere.

I LOVE the Skins over the Teets - Although you never know, seeing as how the most safe pick from last week, Colts at home over Teets, nearly proved incorrect.

I LOVE the Steelers over the Fighting Huards - Injury of the year: Kendall Simmons is out for the Steelers because he fell asleep with an icepack on his foot and got frostbite.

I LOVE the Jets over the Fins - Why, you ask? Two words: JoeyHarrington sucks. Count 'em. One, two.

I LOVE the Chargers over the Niners - I nominate Shawne Merriman as the "Most Exciting Defensive Player to Watch Since Derrick Thomas"

I LOVE the Dallases over the Houstons - Ooh, the Battle of Texas, the Showdown for the Lonestar State, the Commencement of Hostilities between the Two Teams based in the land formerly known as the Republic of Texas. Fascinating.

I LOVE the B'cos over the Raidahs - Man NBC has to be pumped for this game. The ratings will probably be off the charts. In other news, are the 2006 Raiders the absolute biggest disaster of a sports team of all time?

I LOVE the Bears over the Cards - It's always good to put a rookie QB against a D on pace to allow fewer points than maybe the greatest D of all time, the 1985 Bears. Oh, and he's missing his best receiver and his O-line is horrible. I predict this will go well for the Cards.