Feel the Brotherly Love

Man, do I love it when brothers go head to head. Personally, I am taking on my bro in fantasy football this week, but being Lemkes, we are naturally much more civilized and refined. Lars, while I love you and your willingness to roast your bro, Dell totally kicked your ass. (No rant point for me.)

On an unrelated topic, I nominate Lars for a posthumous rant point. You were outstanding last week.

I LOVE the Pants over Cincinattica - I don't remember the last time a team lost its buzz so quickly as the Bungles. Similar to the movie Road to Perdition. Everybody was screaming Oscar until the movie came out, then we realized it was actually kind of boring.

I LOVE the Jets over the Motor City Kitties - Jon Kitna is the nice guy that you know is always doomed to fail.

I LOVE the Fins over the Fighting Favres - If Daunte was playing, I would toatlly pick this one the other way. He's really a difference maker.

I LOVE the Jags over the Houstons - They somehow manage to overcome the handicap of having teal uniforms.

I LOVE the Pats over the Buff - Speaking of the Buff, I'll say I was impressed he managed to make it to Week 7. Let's be realistic. We need to have a different standard for people like him, and that's okay. We can't all be normal.

I LOVE the Iggles over the Retirees from New Jersey - I've heard that Gradkowski is Polish-Italian, but he looks Uzbeki-Iranian to me. Regardless, if the NFL had an All-Eyebrows team along with their All-Pro and All-Rookie team, he would be the QB and captain.

I LOVE the Steelers over the Fal-sucks - In the history of WDYL, no team has been so hard to pick as the Fal-sucks. One week they're awesome, the next they look like Bethel's JV. One week Vick looks like the next Randall Cunningham, the next he looks like the next Jarious Jackson. I hereby dub them the Fal-sucks from now to forevermore.

I LOVE the Bolts over the Sitting Bulls - Does anyone know what the Chargers mascot is? If you do, please let me know. Is it a Charging Bulls? A cumulonimbus cloud? Perhaps a 1973 Dodge Charger? Perhaps Lars' stiffy?

I LOVE Bcos over the Muds - It's funny because it's true.

I LOVE the Cards over the Al Davises - The greatest thing about Denny Green's meltdown was the suddenness of it. One moment he's talking like a normal overweight black man, something about "the Bears are what we thought they were," whatever the hell that means, the next he's pounding on the podium, almost knocking over the mic, looking a little sheepish that he looked so uncoordinated in almost knocking over the mic but not apologizing for his wrath, then he's screaming "THE BEARS ARE WHAT THEY THOUGHT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE TO BE." Then he's gone like a piece of burning tissue paper and we're left to wonder if it was real or a collective wet dream.

I LOVE the Shawks over the Fighting Loveboats - Lars, Berg, Wilpet, Kyky: Remember our Bethel Choir trip to Seattle when we took the ferry ride across some big water thing? Remember how picturesque it was, churning through the water towards the illuminated skyline of the city. Fred Smoot's in town: imagine the possibilities.

I LOVE the Colts over Skins - I also LOVE the Colts trading deadline move to acquire Anthony McFarland. Granted, a second-round pick is a hefty price, but when you're given the chance to obtain a player whose nickname, nay, even the name he is called by TV announcers, is BOOGER, you have to jump on that. There's a lot of intangibles involved in this deal, and I really think that's the sort of thing that can put the Colts over the top.

I LOVE the Boys over the G's - Hey Lars, I saw that Sebastian Telfair had somebody shot for stealing a gold chain. You're right, I can totally see Danny Ainge doing that too.