1. Stillers over Prairie Beasts- J.P. Losman seems more like your brother's crazy slacker friend than the starting QB for an NFL team. I especially enjoyed the press conference where he gave his expert medical opinion concerning Kevin Everett. Enlightening AND educational. Big Ben on the other hand is more British and clock-like. He is reliable, punctual, and eats smelly food. Stillers by 19.
2. Raves over JETS- Unexpected news alert: STEVE MCNAIR IS HURT. STEVE MCNAIR IS HURT. Also: CHAD PENNINGTON IS HURT. CHAD PENNINGTON IS HURT. I so didn't see either of these things coming. Next you're going to tell me that Flavor Flave and Deelishus didn't stay together. Yeah, whatever. Raves by 14.
3. Bears over Chiefs- This will be a fiercely competitive game. The Chiefs played awesomely against the mighty Texans last week. They looked fierce, losing a nail-biter by 68 points. Damon Huard has chicken legs. Bears by 16.
4. Rams over Niners- The Rams have lost Orlando Pace and his many pancakes, which come in many flavors and sizes. There are also shapes, including Mickey Mouse and smiley face. Nevertheless, the Niners have proven that they are the Not Ready for Primetime Players. I hope that all of you watched the Monday night game last week. I was asleep by the end of the first quarter and kept waking up to realize that some team was still stuck on the 34 yard line and no one else had scored. Rams by 10.
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