4. Meaning this one is worth four points and it's the pickem game which is Bolts vs. Rex Grossman. In this game the Bears are good but not on offense because Rex Grossman is their quarterback. The Chargers are good but not in coaching because Norv Turner is their coach. Fortunately for them, coaches don't have to tackle or run. Bolts by 6.
3. Pats over Jets. Tom Brady's beautiful butt chin had a baby this summer with his beautiful ex-girlfriend, making his even more beautiful current girlfriend beautifully jealous. Pats signed Randy Moss, which cancelled out all of Brady's beauty. Eric Mangini looks like he would eat Brady's baby for a win. However, the Jets aren't as good, so Pats win.
2. Pokes over G's. Remember that one time that Tony Romo dropped the ball and the Pokes lost? Don't worry, the Pokes opened up the checkbook and brought in a new holder. They definitely won't lose this year.
1. I'm not very confident, but I think the S-hawks, led by Pork Chop Womack, will knock off the Bucaneers, led by Not Enough Chromosomes Garcia. This is a matchup of two teams featuring unis with colors that didn't exist before they put them in their unis. It must be a powerful feeling to invent a color. If I did that, I would call it crimbum, and it would resemble all the edges of a magical rainbow.
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