Ram it Time

1. I love Saint Louis over Caroleena-hina
Not since Apocolypto have panthers looked so homo-erotical. I'm thinking particularly of the puppet panther they used in the panther attack scene. The puppets in Labyrinth were more believable, including Bowie's package. I'm a fan of Caroleena like I'm a fan of people who are proud to be from Carolina. If this match up was lyrics to a non-hippop rap tune it would go like this.

click pop goes the needle
Scratch it three time for me
Ram Ram Ram it.
Ram-a-dime-a-ram it time.

San Louis is in the kitchen
Ram it like you’re itchen
Ram Ram Ram it.
Ram it like a Bowie Package.
(see Bowie pic)

2. Detroit @ Oak I love Detroit
Not since madden 99 for N64 has the lions looked so good. Or maybe they don’t look good at all. it’s just that Oakland hasn’t looked this bad since I forgot to blow on my super tecmo Bowl cartridge and when I put it in the Raiders were all pink with jagged diagonal lines and text running across the screen. Up Up Down Down Suck It Raiders. I love Des Troit.

3. Tappy Bay vs See attel see hawks
TB has to be one of my least favorite teams. I don’t know why because I really love pirates. I think it was their logo circa 1986 with that salmon color scheme and that hermaphroditic head shape thing. whack is all I got to say. it looked like Lars’s third nipple with a feather sticking out of it. And then they switched it to a flag. So cooperate. I’m a fan of tampa bay like I’m a fan of Rachel Ray. I love SeaHawnks

4. Chicago at San Diego You-pick-um-I-Luv-um Diego
Prediction. Ladamian Tommilynson's forhead vein will burst mid spaz-run leaving Darren Sproles to get out of his ice bath and step it up, disappointing many first round fantasy winners. Diego will, however win. Anyways. I'm a fan of Chicago like I'm a fan of walking onto a non-moving escalator, “Hey the escalator is off but I’m still gona get on and walk it like it’s stairs. My eyes see that it’s off but my brain doesn’t believe me.” Awkward. I love Diego Chargicles.