Legend Signing In - Week 2

I love the Rams over the 49ers!!!! The Rams let me down last week, when the usually dependable Stephen Jackson had nothing going, and the usually consistent Dan LeBatard couldn’t get his team into the endzone. What’s the perfect remedy? How about a Niners offense that is more likely to put you in a coma than score a touchdown. I do love that Niners defense though, mostly because of linebacker Patrick Willis who has the makings of a superstar in this league. With all the talk of cheating this week, it’s good to see that Patrick lost the bionic hand that he wore in college. He’s a stand up guy, who will lose in St. Louis this week, even though I’ve never liked the Rams. You wanna know why I’ve never liked the Rams? Because every time I see those gold and blue jerseys I think of Brenda Warner with her husbands haircut staring at me after every single play for three years. Has any pro-sports wife ever gotten this kind of face time? Oh yeah, Doug Christies wife. Rams by 3!!!!

I love the Ravens in a rebound game against the J-E-T-S!!!! After one of the strangest end to a Monday night football game that I have ever seen, you have to think that the Ravens will bounce back at home against a depleted Jets squad. Most exciting realization of Monday night – after about 7 years I figured out who Jonathon Ogden looks like. Now follow me here – Odgen is the love child of former Chicago Bull and Timberwolf Stacey King and the crazy wild-eyed 1982 version of funny man Richard Prior. Glad that one is sloved. Ravens by 10!!!!

I love the Bungels over the Brownies in the land of Cleve!!!! So you’re going to pay Ken Dorsey real American money to mentor Brady Quinn. Mentor him? Could we not come up with a better mentor? I have an idea Phil Savage – hire a real Quarterback coach!!! In the midst of a horrible quarterback situation in Cleveland, in comes a confident Bengals squad. The Bengals are riding high despite the worst Chad Johnson celebration ever. His Hall of Fame parka was shabby at best. Next time Chad wants to do that celebration, I’ll get my local preschool class to puff pant a smock for him and it would be a big improvement. Bungels by a TD and a half!!!

I love the Bears over the Chiefs!!! Hard for me to give the Bears any love but you can’t help but love their chances against the hapless Chiefs. A 45 point win should salve the wound caused by paying Mike Brown millions and millions of dollars to play one half a year for three straight years. The good news is that the Bears should only need 5 defenders available to kill that offensive line and confuse Damon Huard. Bears coast by 27 points!!!