I eat football for breakfast

I LOVE being too lazy to get off my couch and write "Pittsburgh" on the blog.

I LOVE the Falsucks. Even Cleveland Gary can't save the Bucs.

I LOVE the Raves. Lots of flashing lights, topnotch techno beats, and sweaty people in a warehouse. I'm here to suggest a WDYL rave, perhaps Buff can get us into one of the CLC classrooms with his hookups. Hwksng can take care of the music, Timmb can rig the lights, and I'll bring chips and salsa. It says here that Dell can really do a great robot.

I LOVE Jacksplat. Though Lars seems to think that I love the Colts, I actually think the Bolts might be the best team. Now he will accuse me of being a bandwagon jumper or a fairweather fan, to which I reply, "At least my sister didn't marry her horse."

I LOVE Minny and talking about the 2007 draft. Maybe if they lose their last four games they'll have a shot at Calvin Johnson.

I LOVE the Pats. Brady not playing hot, but Dolphins are moldy cheese.

I LOVE the G-men. Introducing former 27 year-old Heisman winner Chris Hanky.

I LOVE Cincinattica. Think about this. NFL teams have a roster of 53 people. 8 of Cincy's 53 have now been arrested in the last year. That's 15.09434 percent. That's like if Taco Tuesday got arrested for public urination and a month later Hometown Buffet was booked for insider trading. Unbedamnlievable.

I LOVE the Skins. Jeff Garcia bears a strong resemblance to all the Who's from Ron Howard's Grinch. Clearly not a coincidence.

I LOVE the Flaming T's. I wonder how Houston feels about not taking their hometown boy. Probably the same way Kevin McHale feels about the lack of Big, Tall, and Shouldery stores.

I LOVE the Ninnies. Nothing about this game is even remotely interesting. My wife's pregnant.

I LOVE Shawks. I bet that if you work out Edgerrin's contract, he's getting something like $17,000 per yard.

I LOVE Nidge. I also love making Legend figure out who I'm picking by giving less-than-obvious names. I'll help you out here. NYJ

I LOVE San Diego because Mike Shanahan's officially become the worst coach in the league not named Al Davis. This QB thing defies belief.

I LOVE the Boys. If we examine the history of mentor-pupil matchups in the post-wildcard NFL, we see a strong trend towards the mentor in initial matchups. That disparity evens out over time as the subjects become less similar tactically and in their methods, but it appears that at first the pupil has not developed the ability to think beyond patterns established previously in the relationship. As such, he is more predictable, giving Parcells the advantage. Plus, he has better breasts.

I LOVE Chicago. I also love Rex Grossman for the endless hours of entertainment and adrenaline rush he provides every time he drops back. I can't wait.