Down to the Wire: Week 17 picks

Once again- The last weeks kill me. Who still wants to bust themselves on the field when there is no incentive to win? Who wants to play too hard and get injured before the playoffs when a spot is already locked up? Anything can happen and it does, especially when coaches keep lineups a secret till the game. Dang, I hate this weeks picks. All I can do is play safe and get at least half right.

I Love the Aints over the Pants
The mighty pants are filled with chunky liquid diareah. Here's to next year Carolina.

I Love the Texans over the Browns
The Texans beat the Colts? Wha Happen???? The Poop faithful have to be saying, "here we go agian. Didn't we feel this way last year when the season ended, and the year before that? and the year before that? and come to think of it, since 1986?"

I Love the Brokebacks over the Kittys
The Cowboys could get it together and go far, or go Bears style and loose the first game, that is, unless they play the Bears. Does Brady Quinn look good in Baby Blue, or Black with blue and silver stripes?

I Love the Chefs over the Jags
Ooooooooo, oooo, o, o o....... Oooooooooooo, oooo, o, o, o- Thats the Atlanta Braves song dubbed for the Chefs in written form.

I Love the Titans over the Pats
Only 3 words to describe Vince Young and his remarkable plaay the last 8 weeks: Holy F*%#ing S*#t.

I Love the J.E.T.S. over the Rayduhs
17 weeks ago we all thought the Jets were with the Pack at the worst in the NFL. What a difference a rotator cuff can make.

I Love the Bagles over the Gay Taconite Processors
Is this the last game for Bill Cowher? I think everyone figured this last game would be a great rematch for last years playoff game.... instead, it a sad reminder of how crappy the Steelers have been all season for no reason whatsoever.

I Love the Tampons over the SHAWKS!
Just a hunch here.... A cross country roadtrip for a game that means nothing..... I like the home team, plus Seattle blows.

I Love the the Rams over the Purp!
Mark my words..... unless the Vikings get a real Offensive coordinator who actually takes chances instead of playing conservative, the Vikes will be 7-9 for the next 5 years. I think they really want to end on a good note, and they have 0 reason to not call crazy plays. Unfortunatly, niether do the Rams, and the Vikes pass defence is an open door. Expect Bruce and Holt to get 3 tds each. Heres to 8-12 more years of mediocrity.

I Love the Bolts over the Cards!
No Lienart, No problem. They get beat both ways.

I Love the Uglies over the Falcors!
I'm officially retiring the Atlanta Falcons to the firey pits of Hell. May they burn slowly. And the Eagles???? What? Even Jeff Garcia knew the season was over when McNabb went down, and he has done the impossible. You see? Even retards can make a difference. Note to Lars, lets create a scale from 1 to 10 calles "looks retarded scale" or LRS. I'm puttin Jeff Garcia at a 9, Jeff George at a 11.

I Love the Raveens over Barfelo!
Total toss up here.... the Ravens could seat everyone. Who knows. Buffalo wins at home in that swirly icey bowl and thats about it.

I Love the Cults over the Phins!
Why? The Colts have about as good a shot as the Bears. If only they could murge and make a team with the Bears D and the Colts O. They could call it Chicapolis or maybe Indiago. (wasn't that the horse move with Viggo Mortenson?) The team with the Bears O and the Colts D could be called the Detroit Lions.

I Love the Bacos over the Crusty Prospectors!
Does it matter that this game will be played in 4 feet of fresh snow? The Niners might have trouble. Gay poeple from San Fran just don't do well in snow.

I Love da Bers in one final win before they lose in the playoffs over the Pack!
No Brainer here. Go Bers.


Peace.