I'll be honest with you- I dread these last weeks of the season for the unpredictability factor.... Last week every team still had something to play for, but now playoff pictures are shaping up and its inevitable that I will blow 6-7 games on teams who decide to rest players last minute or (ala the 1916 Chicago Sox) throw the game with posers in at QB and defence just so they can get a better draft pic. This perplexing situation shrouds me in negetivity.
I LOVE the CHEFS over the Raydahs!
The 2006 Oakland Raiders will go down in history along side the Lucitania, the LA Riots, and the career of Joey Lawrence. Art Shells boobs will also crack Maxim magazines top 50.
I LOVE the Raves over the Gay Taconite Ore Processors!
Speaking of Taconite Ore processors, the wifey recently rented "North Country". For 2 hours these slimeball Steel workers sexually Harass Charlize Theron, so she takes them to court. Then the music swells, she smiles and she wins the lawsuit. Then the credits roll. I was like, "what the Hell? Wasn't that a little bit of an easy ending? What about the deep emotional scars? 2 hours of my life wasted.... sort of like this game.
I LOVE the Falcors over the Pants!
Remember back in August where everyone was jumping on the posh Panther bandwagon, throwing out meaningless nothings like "Dude, watch out for the Panthers.... They just might go undefeated." How stupid were we? In hindsight their season has been not unlike all those poor souls who went Beta in the 1980s, or Laserdisc in the 1990s. Remember Laserdiscs? The where CDs as big as LPs. What were they thinking? As for the Falcors, remember Michael Vick's parents concieving him? What were they thinking?
I LOVE da Bers over the Kittys!
Congrats Bears fans! You have hope, and you should. Your beloved team is 4 games up on everyone else in the NFC, which means that they will loose thier first playoff game at soldier. Sorry if that wrecks the early celebration, but you QB woes have been significant. Remember when Mod and Mophats prematurly posted those Bears 1985 redux posters? That was funny. For now, lets relive better days.
I LOVE the CULTS over the Cowskulls!
Every time I ask myself why I'm a Vikings fan, I can take solice in the fact that I'm not a Texans fan- Missing out on Bush and Vince Young is as big a blunder as Tom Selleck turning down "Raiders of the Lost Ark" for Magnum PI. Somewhere at a McDonald's in Alabama Sam Bowie is salting fries in a purple polo shirt and matching visor, crying a single tear for all the times his name comes up every sunday. You can't help but feeling Bad for the guy. His own name has become one with the very meaning of the words "complete bust". And what did he ever do besides suck?
I LOVE the JAGS over the PATS!
The Jags just want it more, and this is a classic Pats bust game.
I LOVE the Gents over the Aints!
Wow- tough one here. It's do or die for the Gents, and thier at home, so give them the win. The Giants are without a doubt my least favorite team in professional football. To me, even mention that someones a Giant fan and I'm picturing a fat sweaty irritable New Yorker who thinks the world revolves around him wearing an LT jersey and a blue hardhat.
Remember when Jeremy Shockey said his dream in life was to have a threesome with 3 identical triplets? My dream in life is for Jeremy Shockey to learn how to add.
I LOVE the TAMPONS over the SKIDMARKS!
Here's me after watching this game:
I LOVE Barfelo over the Teets!
It's hard to win in Barfelo in December....
I LOVE the Ewes over the SKINS!
I hate the Redskins too. Wow, please don't quote me out of context on that last statement. What I really meant to say is that I hate Native Americans.... as racist namesfor football franchises.
I LOVE the Crusty Prospectors over the High Ranking Red Dressed Catholic Priests!
Yesturday on the Radio they played a game called "Who's the tiny elf" where they spead up soundbites to high pitched chipmonk vioces, and they played Denny Green's post-Bears loss rant... Funniest soundbite ever.
THE BEARS ARE WHO THEY THOUGHT WE WERE! THATS WHY WE TOOK THE DAMN FIELD! (Pounding Podium) AND WE #?@%!!!!
I LOVE the SINNERS over the BACOs!
I think if I was a diehard Bagles fan, I'd have developed super hero vision by means of mutation by this point. I cannot watch the Bagles uniforms without getting a splittling headache.... way too much contrast between the dark and light stripes... Very similar to watching Japenese cartoons-
I LOVE the BOLTS over the SHAWKS!
The Chargers are so dang good- I really hope they have what it takes to go far. Is there anything Ladanian Tomlinson can't do? He can pass, rush, block, kick fieldgoals, open cans of Chunky soup with his front tooth, and fart the alphabet.... underwater.(?)
I LOVE the BROKEBACKS over the UGLIES!
Wow.... game of the week. Did you see the plans for the new Texas Stadium to open in 2010? 1 Billion Dollars, seating 100 thou with a video scorboard 60 yars long and 60 feet high suspended above the field.... Crazy. Eveything is bigger in Texas. Also, did you hear about genecide in the Sudan and people starving around the world? God Bless America. Isn't it great to live in a nation that makes us all into greedy bastards?
I LOVE the J.E.T.S. over the Phins!
Remember way back last summer when the Dolphins were the early AFC favorite? Daunte was on all the TV comercials and everything. (I'm chuckling).
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL- Travel safe if you're on the road!
Eat my Poop Timmb.
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