For Freeburg – an all-Bulls edition…

I love the Chiefs over the Radiers!!! The Raiders should sign Michael Sweetney for any spot on their beleaguered O-line. He’s the weakest link (maybe missing link) in a long line of Georgetown centers. He’s not a candidate for ass-fighting, due to the fact that his thunder is more blubber than legit action, but he could lead block with the best of them. Chiefs by 10!!

I love the Steelers at home for some unknown reason!!! How did Willie Parker get the moniker “fast”? Is he is the only fast guy in the league? How come we don’t say, “big thighs Maurice Jones-Drew”, or “it’s gotta be arthritis Troy Williamson”, or “down syndrome Jeff Garcia”? The Bulls equivalent is “defensive stopper Adrian Griffin”. Is he even good? Has he become a self-fulfilling prophesy? Steelers by 7!!!

I love the Pants over the Falcors!!! The Falcors are in total disarray and they are playing Julius Peppers. Is Ben Wallace an appropriate analogy here? Feared defender, a little crazy, maybe. And Julius Peppers did play basketball in college – coincidence? Surely. Pants by 10!!!

I love the Burrs over the Lejons!!! OK so you know how the Bulls have serious issues at the offensive power forward spot? Imagine having those serious issues for 16 of you 26 starting positions and you have the Lions. As for the Bears, I expect to see the equivalent of Marty Andriuskevicius (3rd string) in after a few series. Burrs by 10!!

I love the colts over the Texmex!!! Peyton is the consummate field general like Kirk Hinrich is court-general for the Bulls. They both have a southern drawl, that baby face that make you take them less serious, they both played in national title games, and Berg accuses both of them of being mildly autistic. Colts by 9!!!

I love the Jags over the Pats!!! I’ll pick against my squad for the first time this year. I just think that the Jags need it more this week. On the other hand, Rodney Harrison may be back this week and he has an identical moustache to that of Bulls PF P.J. Brown. Again, the stars are aligning. Still, Jags at home by 3!!!

I love the Saints over the Gmen!!! The wild storms off the gulf coast have given the Saints a reason to pay well. OK, follow me now…A notable storm off the gulf coast was in the movie Forrest Gump where Lt. Dan and his lack of legs screamed at God and met him. My nickname for Luol Deng (my favorite Bull) is Lt. Deng. Whenever he scores I turn to my wife and say, “Lt. Deng got new legs, new legs”. These connections are blowing my mind. Deng by 16!!!

I love the Browns over the Tampons!!! The Bulls play Derek Anderson and the bobcat tomorrow night and they shall be victorious. I have more faith in the Browns Derek Anderson, which doesn’t say a ton. Still, Browns by 10!!!

I love the Bills over the Tits!!! Doug Flutie had an illustrious career in Buffalo. He’s from Canada where not many NFLers are from. Ben Gordon and Luol Deng spent significant portions of their life in England, where not many NBAers are from. In fact I bet Lt. Dan could count the number of English NBAers on his feet before the titanium alloy legs and the hot Asian fiancé. Bills by 14!!!

I love the Skins over the Rams!!! I’m a Jason Campbell fan. He’s a balanced QB for a young fella. He can scramble but has a cannon for an arm and good patience. Of all the young Bulls I’m impressed most by Thabo Sefolosha. He’s a great defender, has a “drive to the bucket” mentality and can handle the ball well. If he can develop a jump shot, look out. Skins by 10!!!

I love the 9ers over the Cards to inch closer to a division title!!! Can only hope that Tyrus Thomas shows the development in his second year that Alex Smith has shown in his. I can also only hope that Thomas always wears the broken nose mask. I’ve loved that ever since Carl Herrera and Will Perdue had matching silver ones for the Spurs. 9ers by 9er!!!

I love the Bengals over the B’cos!!! I love TJ. He’s a great second option, and he’s scrappy and firey without ticking me off. This also describes Andres Nocioni to a tea. Bengs by 10!!!

I love the Bolts in Seattle!! BTW, the Qwest field mystique is gone! Bolts should roll. The big question: Who has less hair Skiles or Hasselbeck? Bolts by 17!!!

I love the Boys over the Ugglies!!! I like the Tony Romo story. Not a high draft pick, comes in and leads a team to Ws. How come more hasn’t been made of Chris Duhon for the Bulls. Can we just say between Brand, Duhon, and Deng that the Duke draft bust curse is officially over? I love Duhon and how cheap the Bulls got him too. Boys by 3!!!

I love the Dolphs over the JETS!!!! Zach Thomas is part of the wispy hair club. So is Nick Mangold, So is enforcer Chris Simon, So is center/neandrothol Chris Kaman, so is Cardinals pitcher Jeff Weaver. But the king, Bulls GM John Paxson. Dolphs by 10!!

A couple Pack/Vikes thoughts:

1) Tarvaris wasn’t great, but it’s the first time in 9 years I saw a Vikes QB hit a guy in the flat without hitting his ankles or throwing it 12 feet over his head.
2) Why was Nick Barnett allowed to wear a club on the end of his arm? He looked like that one comic hero who’s limbs turn into hammers – is it shapeshifter?
3) MOD can make fun of Winfield, but he was amazing last night.
4) How many times can Bryant Gumbel get his downs and yardage wrong, how about players, how about stats? He’s horrible. Sure Tirico is dry, but he never gets that stuff wrong.
5) I though Bubba Franks was good. What happened?
6) How in the world does Kenechi Udeze not have a sack this year? That’s embarrassing. I wish we could’ve landed Kampman and his 14 sacks.
7) Mike McCarthy barely has a face. I couldn’t pick his out of a crowd if he was my twin brother. I’ve never seen a more forgettable face than his.
8) Are they trashy? Yup. But the Pack have the best fans, way better than the Vikes or Bears. It’s just the truth.
9) The Packers D is going to be a force for the next 10 years. They are young and fast and getting better quickly. I was really impressed.
10) OK, I guess Chester isn’t a 16 week back. It’s just too much for his body to take.