I made the playoffs!!

4. NE over NYJ - After confusing the Comeback Player of the Year for MVP, Pennington goes out and gets smashed. Sobering up, he has to apologize for being found outside Jets headquarters straddling a statue of Joe Namath shouting "We are Marshall." Despite the distraction and embarrassment, he plays the entire game keeping the Jets within 40 points throughout.

3. NYG over Phi - In a rather unfortunate incident, linebacker Brandon Short reaches out to dislodge the football from a scrambling Jeff Garcia only to realize, to the horror of many witnesses, that the wiry quarterback is now split in two. Shrugging his shoulders, Short picks up the successfully dislodged football and returns it for a touchdown. In the postgame interviews, R.W. McQuarters tries to take all of the credit for the play.

2. KC over Ind - Showing a generous amount of sportsmanship, Herm Edwards tries to give the Colts defense a chance by making Larry Johnson run backwards 5 yards before running forward. Viewers in the second half also notice that Johnson has resorted to walking instead of running. Still, Johnson finishes the game with an astounding 315 yards rushing. After the game, Bill Polian, Colts president, announces the formation of a new professional two-hand touch football league.

1. Dal over Sea - Recognizing that he will be in the spotlight during the playoffs and being very self-conscious of his balding head, Matt Hasselbeck takes a healthy dose of Rogaine. Unfortunately, the only affected area is an uncharacteristic rapid growth rate for his eyebrows. Team trainers are seen on the sidelines with scissors cutting through the fertile brows. Worst of all, the offensive line is called for 26 false start penalties because they are shaking from laughter after having looked at their quarterback. In the postgame interview, Holmgren sums up the loss by chuckling and saying, "man, that was worth it."